Of Lilim and Lilium
by Henry V
Summary: Rei ayanami pics up Lucy on the way to hell. Lets see what happens, shall we?
1. Personality

**A/N; Hi! This crossover might develop into something, I dare hope. Probably not the best ever, but hey! I'm no professional writer. So… Ideas might come in handy. And constructive criticism. Even some flames, if necessary. But enough of this ranting… let the tale be told. Or written. Or downloaded and viewed on a silicon based electronic information processing unit/terminal/in extreme cases Macintosh computer (Hitchcock psycho theme) which keeps crashing every now and then.**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, names and dates as well as plotlines and most certainly not the vectors and EVAs used in this fic. This is a _fanfiction_, for heaven's sake! Why would I publish this kind of thing here if I was planning on making money of this kind of thing?...ahem. Anyway….

* * *

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**Chapter 1; Personality  
**

* * *

Rei sat in her entry plug as they prepared her unit for the experiment. She was slightly nervous, knowing what lay ahead. She tried to clear her mind as she had been instructed to do for so many years now that it seemed forever. Then they began to initiate contact. Everything seemed to go well. Rei inwardly sighed in relief, and continued going through the list as per instructions. "Absolute borderline reached!" came the voice of Maya Ibuki, looking into the eyes of her sempai. Akagi nodded, turning to face the Evangelion as the critical stage approached.

_I hope you take this well, Lilith _she thought.

Rei heard the call, and instantly felt the borders of her consciousness dissolve. Then she concentrated on finding the mind of the Evangelion. Several moments passed without result, and she began to think that something must have failed to happen.

Had she done something incorrectly?

Had she ... failed?

* * *

Lucy stood in front of the soldiers, softly humming her requiem. She felt hollow, numb. The sooner she ended this, the better. She had shed her tears, and then some, as she had fled from the warm, strong arms of Kohta, a few hours ago.

_He wanted her to stay, to stop the bloodshed. Lucy was too shocked to react with her vectors, and had collapsed into his arms, the sadness overwhelming her completely. She somehow managed to turn around and face him. She looked into his face and saw something she had never seen in anyone's face before, ever. _

_She saw love. _

_Even though he knew that she had taken his sister. _

_Even though he knew she had taken his father._

_Even though he knew her destiny, her nature and her secrets. _

_He loved her. _

_She remembered the few days of happiness that he had given her, so long ago. The tiny flash of light in a lifetime of darkness and despair, fear, hate, blood and death. _

_He had given her kindness, and she had given him her heart. _

_"Oh, Kohta..." her voice broke, and she began to cry, tears sliding down her cheeks, unable to hold them back any longer. Kohta took her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her body. She slowly leaned her face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around her love. She let the feeling wash over her as they stood, on the steps leading to her death, in perfect blissful peace._

The Squad stood readying their weapons as the girl advanced towards her impending doom. Their guns were cocked, their aim was true. All they waited for was one word. The girl had come towards them slowly, almost casually strolling over to the squad intended to destroy her. She stopped, twenty meters away.

_Even though he does not forgive me, even though I will never be able to touch him ever again, I know the truth._

_She felt the warmth from his heart, beating in time with hers as the soft breeze blew a cherry blossom petal in between their heads. It rested on his nose, held there, just barely, by the wind. Lucy gazed at it, watching it blow off into the distance as a fresh gust knocked it off his nose. Why does this have to be this way? She asked the same thin question over and over, without getting any answer at all. Kohta! I'm so sorry…._

* * *

Rei felt the overwhelming sense of loss, as the Evangelion began to move. "The synapsys breakers are reversing!" the shout rooted everyone to the spot as they watched in horror as unit 00 began to break from it's restraints…

Rei blinked, taking in her surroundings. There was a bridge, in the dark night it stood illuminated by the soft orange streetlights. On it, there was a squad of jssdf- soldiers, aiming their guns straight at her. She blinked again, surprised at this unnerving turn of events. She was mesmerized at the sight until a girl walked past her without even noticing her. She had red eyes, like Rei. But instead of blue hair she had pink, almost blood red hair to match the eyes. They seemed to convey sadness, pain, hopelessness. Then the thoughts hit her.

_If only there was a world where we could be together, where we could set aside our past…_

The images of the girl's memories of the day spent with Kohta flashed up in Rei's head. She actually felt the happiness, something she had never felt before.

Then she saw the bloodshed Lucy had unleashed soon after finding out that he had lied to her. The pain in his voice, the fear in his eyes. Sadness, horror and pain. The feelings flooded Rei's mind as she followed the Diclonious to her intended doom. Then the feeling of safety, hope and warmth flooded her as the memories, still fresh in Lucy's mind, played back the last few minutes she had been able to share with Kohta.

Her apology, his confession, their kiss...

Sadness and regret grasped her heart, threatening to plunge her into an abyss of darkness. Her anchor to reality seemed to break as the last flashed before her eyes. Love. What a beautiful thing. Rei mused, reveling in the feeling she had experienced so shortly. Something she hoped to feel for someone else herself, someday. But she still did not possess sufficient data to be satisfied.

Lucy felt some kind of light breeze as she approached the soldiers.

_I promised him not top kill anyone anymore. I promised. Now I will find out if I would do it, or not. Kohta…_

Ttears formed at the corner of her eyes, slowly running down her cheeks and meeting under her chin. There was so much she wanted to do with him, so much she wanted do do for him. But her mere existence was a danger to his life. Something she could not, would not allow any longer. Then she stopped.

_If I am born again, somewhere, someday, and he is in that world, I swear to be a good girl!_

Her face drifted upwards, looking at the brilliant night sky. Even with the street lights, she could see quite a few stars. Then she saw a streak of light.

* * *

Rei followed, curious as she watched the girl walk seemingly fearlessly towards the soldiers. She had finally come to a stop forty metres awayof the armed men, gazing up into the night sky. Finally she whispered one word… "Kohta…" the face of a boy flashed in Rei's mind, and she felt the sadness tear at her heart. She felt the same way as before, just before synchronizing with the Eva. She wondered if this had any meaning… and promptly began going through the steps of synching. After all, what harm could that do?

Lucy looked at the squad assembled before her, and sighed, closing her eyes.

_Am I afraid? Yes, I am. Any regrets? Loads. Having done what I've done doesn't make a good conscience, kinda thing. And will you keep that promise you made? The promise you made to a human, of all beings? Are you going to betray us, Lucy_

This made her even surer, even more anxious to end it all. Her personality was split, she knew that, but she had only been aware of one entity. This third entity had sprung up yust now, and this proved her insanity. The urge to lash out built up, but she fought the rising rush.

W_ho are you?_ she thought, clenching her fists. Then she felt the anger burn her, slowly robbing her of all reason.

_I am your deepest desire, your instincts, your destiny. But you can call me Kaeda. Now, I think I will take over.._

This was abruptly interrupted as something weird happened to her mind, like having a door opened to the ice cold air of Antarctica.

_Who are you?_ came a new voice, but this time soft, monotone, inquisitive.

_How many personalities do I have to come up with?_

She looked surprised, and didn't hear the order barked by the commanding officer in front of her.

_You seem distressed, why is that?_

She felt the coldness give way to warmth, and thought, _What the hell, I'm going to die. So what if I have a hundred inside my head. I wont do any harm anymore._

Then she began going through the memories, sharing the thoughts with the new entity's.

Rei gasped at the horrors that this girl had gone through, the things she had done to others, and finally the future she had been designed for. Not much unlike her, she had no choice as to how she affected the world, and so had lapsed into the brutal life that lay in store of her. And then the memories of her brief contact with Kohta sweeped over her, washing away all the horror, all the fear, the pain and sorrow. A light in the dark, a safe harbor in a mad stormy sea. Then darkness, death and despair. Anger, blood, death, capture, screams, pain, pain, PAIN!

Then finally the release, the chance she had been waiting for so long, a chance to redeem herself. The sole reason for her existence, and the only reason for her to go on. The light at the end of the tunnel. And, brief as it was, the truth hit her as the words had left his mouth. The anguish of rejection, and the softness of love, mingling in to a whirling tornado of anguish, with peace at it's very center.

Lucy pushed all these thoughts through her mind, and kept pushing, as if this would somehow bring her the end. And then she heard the guns being loaded, cocked and aimed. Well, her goes. The truth wil manifest itself to me, here, now. And so ends the nightmare.

"Goodbye, Kohta.." she whispered.

Rei felt unsure how to react. This girl was going to get shot. And even her vectors couldn't protect her from this kind of onslaught. So she did the only thing she could. She reached out for the girl and pulled….

Lucy _felt_ the bullets smash into her body, tearing her up and throwing her backwards. The bullets shredded her left arm, and blew off her right hand, spraying blood over the tarmac, and she fell. As she fell, her thoughts turned to slowly moving clouds of understanding

_I kept my promise, Kohta. I could have killed them, but I didn't! I kept… my… pro…_

She drifted into darkness, but just before the end, she felt like someone was pulling at her shoulder…

Rei fell back, having been flung away from the girl. Then they began to shoot, shredding the body of the girl. Rei reached out and grabbed at her shoulder once again, this time without the recoil. And pulled. As she fell back, she fainted, but not without hearing a voice saying _…mise_.

Darkness pulled her under before she could register this last bit of information.

And then she dreamed.

* * *

_Rei opened her eyes again, feeling the weightlessness of floating in LCL drawing the energy from her. There was a shape in front of her, curled up in a fetal position, completely naked, it's back turned to her. Red hair was the only recognizable feature on this person, and this seemed to remind her of something she knew. Or rather, someone. _

_She floated aimlessly, her body stretched in a standing position. It was something she did, like lying in her bed. Efficient, no waste of space, and tidy. She remained inert for a few moments before finally being able to place her nagging recognition. The girl in the… vision… dream? No.. vision. The girl called Lucy. Or Nyu, by the people who had been taking care of her. Or the third name, Kaede, the name that had manifested itself in her last minutes on the bridge. _

_Having seen all the things she had seen, she could not help but shudder inwardly at the thoughts in this girl's head. Ever so slightly, she drifted forwards, to the red headed girl in front of her. Finally reaching her, she laid a hand on her shoulder, and turned her around. The girl was unconscious, her eyes closed. Her brow was knitted and her face was a mask of sorrow. Tentively, she brushed the stray hair out of the girl's face, then felt for a pulse. The steady rhythm of a heartbeat pulsated strongly in the jugular under Rei's finger, so, satisfied, she gave her the quick once over, looking for any wounds that may be obvious. Finding none, she let the figure drift infront of her, while silently contemplating her options. Knowing what this creature was capable of, it seemed rather inconvenient that she transported her back to her world. Coming to think of it, why had she even grasped the girl's shoulder in the first place? She silently contemplated this, her possibilities scarce, and dwindling fast. _

* * *

"Unit 00 has thirty seconds of power! Emergency override isn't responding! Synchronization… 400 percent!" the unbelieving voice of Maya Ibuki called the updates to her sempai, knowing full well what this could mean. She frantically tried to buffer the rise, albeit without success. Having no other available options, she had cut the power to unit zero with the Commander's permission. Suddenly, the lights flickered, and the power to the terminals were cut for just enough time to reset the small terminals system. Seconds after, the whole team watched in horror as the entry plug holding Rei was auto-ejected inside the relatively small confines of the test cage.

"NOO!"

Gendo Ikari leapt to his feet as the flash of rocket exhaust began the short journey across the cage's roof. He ran out of the command centre and rushed down the stairway to the cage entrance as the Evangelion smashed its head into the wall, repeatedly. He reached the overheated Entry Plug and tried to open the emergency hatch with his bare hands grunting in pain as the searing hot metal burnt his hands.

Dr. Akagi leaned forwards as she saw the figure of her Commander run to the plug. She gasped, and looked frantically for a microphone. "Maya! Give me an audio link to the cage, now!"

"I… c… can't… the system is still booting…" the apologetic voice of her technical assistant drifted across the room, and the shock hit the computer technician's mind as the Commander inadvertently spelled Rei's doom. She rushed to the cracked pane of glass and pressed both palms against the glass. "DON' OPEN THE HATCH!" she screamed, oblivious to the fact that 36 centimeters of glass tend to isolate sound extremely well.

He gripped it with all his might and heaved, pulling the plug's hatch open and releasing the hot lcl within. Then it hit him…

_Oh, fuck, what have I done? The lcl…_

He staggered backwards as the realization dawned on him like a N2 mine on the morning sky.

_Oh god, what have I done?_

* * *

**/\**

* * *

A/N: righty ho! Cliffhanger…. *smirks evilly* but seriously you have to help me here… and maybe, if you have the time, and if you have the guts, and if you have the heartfelt generosity to leave a review, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Ohoh, who is this?

Lucy: what the heck am I doing here?

Rei: (deadpan voice) we seem to have traveled into an alternate universe. This might be the result of a widespread accumulation of random mental frequencies alternately creating and disbanding the imaginary vortex of 2 dimensional space-time with unforeseeable consequential results.

Lucy: so basically, you have no idea?

Rei: (looks down to her feet, contemplates, then looks back up with confident eyes) Yes

Lucy: thought so. Hey, who the heck are you?

Henry; and now, for something completely different…

A/N 2; Fixed some typos, as well as the spacing problems.


	2. Divergence

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

Disclaimer: Look, guys. This is a _fan fiction__**. **_**Fan. Fiction. **This doesn't imply that we are stealing anything, you know. In fact, we are making the series known to an even wider number of people. For Free. Advertisement. So to speak. So don't sue me, because I don't think I will be able to pay anything, let alone the lunch bills.

A/N: AAAARRRGGGHHH second chapter. Yes, I know I have a heck of a lot to live up to, but _that_ makes it even more exiting. The plot bunny's still hopping around, and I might as well try to get as much of this thing on paper before I succumb to dry spots, writer's block (whatever that is) pure laziness and work. So, there are all my excuses, so let's get moving…

Lucy: Hey, you!

A/N: Uh oh, better scram!

Lucy: Hey, get back here! What the hell are we doing here? Stop! Why you…

A/N: (out of breath) two meters, she only reaches two meters! Oh shit I dropped my pen!

Chapter two: Divergence

_-"-_

Rei sat in the entry- plug, badly shaken and barely conscious. Having felt the forceful ejection, the First Child held on to the plug's control seat with her dear life. Unfortunately, shocks as hard as the ones flinging her around in her restraints were too much for her frail body to take. Her arm was flung against the hard surface of the control levers, knocking her elbow. A fierce crack resounded through her bones. She shrieked in pain, just before the plug crashed into the wall, knocking her flailing arm straight into her face. The crack was the last thing she heard before losing consciousness.

Ritsuko Akagi clenched her fists and slammed them against the windowpane. The test had failed, and now they had lost another subject to the Evangelion. God damnit! The commander was jeopardizing the entire scenario!

Commander Ikari felt anger. Anger at his own selfish desires. Anger at the entire situation. Anger at the entire world, at SEELE, at the Evangelions. They had taken everything, left him to rot in his own self-pity. Now he had reached what he thought was the breakthrough in his life, he had been flung back far enough to set him back about a week. Time was of the essence, and he knew better than anyone that if they didn't succeed now, he would have to call in his son. And he knew that this was not acceptable. At least, not to him. He flung both fists onto the metal surface, burning both and being rewarded with a barely audible clang.

_-"-_

Lucy felt bad. Real bad. She ached all over, and a pulsating pain was coming from her right arm. She tried to move, and felt the fire of pain shoot up the length of her arm the moment she moved it. Ah, crap, it's probably broken. Heh, after that much firepower, she was surprised to be…. Hey, wait a minute! She should be dead! Had they captured her? Was she going back to the facility, as before? Oh god, please no… but she remembered bullets penetrating her entire body. Her chest, legs, face. With her good arm, she traced a hand along her face. A blinding pain in her right eye shot through her, sending stars to her brain. And what was she wearing? Where _was _she? She looked around. Some sort of tube. With a seat. Huh? And... she felt so light… water? No, it tasted weird... like Blood? She was immersed in blood! No, that couldn't be. It was nearly transparent. What kind of sick experiment had she been put throw now? And something else seemed to nag at her. The dizziness was not as bad now, and she finally began to _feel_ her body. She felt… weird. Lifting her arm to her eyesight, she stared at the … suit she was wearing. It covered her arm in a pleasant, skintight kind of way. She looked down and saw that the suit seemed to cover her entire body.

*where am I?* the thought preoccupied her entire mind as she leaned back to gather herself. Pain. God she hated pain.  
Suddenly, a hatch seemed to open, releasing the pressure inside the tube. She saw the fluid rush out of the entrance. The dim red light faded, replaced by the sharp light from the outside world. Then something occurred to her...

*shouldn't I be drowning?* she panicked, and then realized that if she could have drowned, she would already be dead. So... what the heck was this?  
The level receded, and passed down her head and neck, finally laying her free to the inevitable grasp of gravity. The pain doubled as the arm took the weight, and she fell back in her seat as it hit her.

*Oh hell, this hurts..* She lay back, the pain weakening her even more. She began to feel an itch inside her, and realized that she hadn't taken a single breath since she'd woken. After a few moments, she coughed, just after hearing a faint clang against the tube she was sitting in. the evil-tasting fluid sprayed out of her mouth as she heaved, throwing up. She held her head forwards, letting it splatter the seat in front of her. Coughing up more fluids, she hung there dizzy with pain.

*oh god help.* she let the darkness take her, slowly eating at the edge of her vision. Just before fainting, she heard a voice…

_-"-_

He pulled his fists back, barely containing his scream of pain, and heard someone cough inside the plug. Surprised, he listened more intently. Someone was throwing up! Could it be…? He shook off his jacket, wrapping his hands within them, and heaved the hatch open. Leaning inside, he stared at the girl sitting in the plug. Utter relief washed over him as he leaned down to glimpse blood running down her face…

"Rei, are you alright?" he asked, realizing the pointlessness of the question almost as soon as he'd uttered the words. Of course not! She was badly hurt, and seemed to be fainting. Rei looked up, straining her body just enough to see him. Her face was a mask of pain and confusion, something he had never seen before on the quiet girl before.

"wh… who are… you?" she asked, and almost instantly fell forward again, unconscious.

Gendo pulled back in surprise at the answer, least expecting _that_ answer from her. She should be immune to amnesia! He'd designed her that way! Still slightly dazed by the question, he looked up to the command centre and yelled for a rescue team to retrieve her. Then he made his way back to his office, to log a report for this unfortunate incident.

_-"-_

Akagi looked upon the scene with quiet disbelief, from the moment the commander had returned his attention to the plug until the moment he leaned inside. "Audio feed returned to cage!" the voice of lieutenant Ibuki barely registered as she saw the commander retreat from the plug and shout up to her to get a rescue team down there. After having said that, he turned on his heel and walked away. She nodded to the rescue officer, and watched him scurry aw2ay to get the team down into the cage.

"How is this possible?" she asked the assembled team as the data began streaming over the screens. She tapped in the access code and waited for the entire system to start up. Letting her eyes sweep over the room, she noted that only Maya was already linked up. She was tapping furiously, and then paused, and gasped. "Dr Akagi! You've got to see this. This is probably it!" she stood up and went over to the presented files. And there it was… about half a millisecond before the power had spiked, the synch rate had dropped by 78 percent.

_-"-_

She stood, not saying a word, just beyond the edge of sight from the door leading into the commander's office, her shaking hands clasping a bunch of notes. The voice of the commander drifted through the opening, and what she heard had made her stop. Fuyutsuky was talking to him, and the subject was his son.

"You do know it was scheduled to transfer him last month?" Ikari asked the grey- haired sensei.

"Yes. And captain Katsuragi has kept an eye on him for the past three weeks, so there should not be any problems concerning his arrival. However, should we not consider it a little rash? The first child is, as you should know, easily replaceable."

"You underestimate my son, sensei. He may have been evaluated the way he was, but he has my genes as well as those of his mother's. And you know how headstrong she was. Even more so, you know how pig minded I can be. However, separation might have distanced him from me enough to please the old men. Keel is on to us, but he has no reason to doubt us… yet. The whole scenario will fail if he makes the right choices, but… there is so much in front of him, and you know he _is_, after all, only a child. So our hopes rest in him, and him alone, to stop this meaningless, pointless exercise."

Fuyutsuky heaved a sigh, and said "Of course, but why haven't you thought about bringing him in three weeks ago? We haven't got much time, and after fifteen years, there is the third angel to consider. My estimates are he will arrive on the same day we are to encounter him…"

Gendo stood, and walked over to the panoramic windows showing the Geofront's forest. He stood there silently for a minute, and Fuyutsuky thought he'd gone too far this time. However, Ikari heaved a sigh and spoke.

"There will be a time, in the future, where history and most of the world's population will judge us. What we did, how we did it, etc, etc. But what they will know of this… incident… will not be what we know. It will be done as has been done before after the second impact. Falsified, distorted. The truth hidden so deep that no one will be able to make sense of it, ever. We who fight against the worst of evils will be forgotten, and with us, the heroes that risk their lives every day for that thankless future. Now I could run the way laid before me, and even move the pieces to my own liking. But here lies the truth of it all." He turned to his sensei, the light flashing over his glasses as he readjusted them, and continued; "We owe the future a chance to prove us wrong. How many generations it will take, I do not know, but nevertheless, we owe it that much."

The doctor outside gasped in disbelief, and leaned herself against the wall to steady herself. The Commander, a traitor? Or had he been... replaced? Impossible! There must be some factor she was not aware of. Some bit of information that she did not possess jet. Yes! That must be it. She calmed down, and composed herself for the appointment with the Commander. Feeling confident enough again, she strode in to the huge office and knocked once on the heavy door before opening it and striding in front of the desk.

"Rei's bones will heal in three weeks, and the eye isn't hurt too badly. However her mental state is somewhat disturbing…" she paused, uncertain how to continue

"Disturbing in what sense, Dr? You need to clarify" He asked after a moment.

"Well, her brain patterns are stable as long as she's awake, but as soon as she sleeps, they seem to change violently. This may be a bad dream, since the patterns return to normal as soon as she wakes up, but nevertheless, it should be watched. I doubt that it will influence her ability to pilot, though, so it is not a pressing matter yet. "

Ikari nodded once, and said "Very well. Keep her under observation, for the time being. And instruct captain…" he tilted his head towards his side "Katsuragi to bring in the Third Child. He is to be instructed and introduced to his purpose as soon as possible. Training is to begin as soon as he arrives. And Dr Akagi? "He finished with the question hanging in the air like a lead hammer

"Yes, Commander?"

"I would appreciate if you would do me the honor of dining with me this evening. "

A statement, not a request. Ah well, at least something. "Of course, commander. The details should be at my disposal by then, and the report should be completed, so you will have it by then. "Ikari nodded curtly and dismissed her with a wave of the hand, leaning back into the seat. As soon as she closed the door, Fuyutsuky asked "Do you think she can be trusted not to tell anyone?" the commander laughed once, forcedly.

"Can you not see she is madly in love with me? To betray me, she'd betray herself, so that is obviously not going to happen. "His voice softened "And I do hope she doesn't break my heart as well…"

_-"-_

Leaning against the wall, he looked down over the endless (twelve meters) cliff face falling away under him. The sea washing up against the shore at the foot of the cliff sprayed foam against the granite wall breaking its course. He shivered at the thought of falling into the water, and quickly pulled back, returning to his uncle and aunt. He felt the wind bite into his bones even under the heavy clothes he wore to protect him. Finally they reached the car, and got in to drive home. Or what he had been calling home, for the past three years, since… that day. He thought back to the tearful goodbye he had shared with his father, so long ago. Having made a promise to see him again as soon as possible, his father had hugged him and turned away, hiding his face.

"Father…" he murmured. His aunt turned in her seat and looked back at the boy, smiling sweetly. "Did you say something, Shinji? "

Shinji turned his head from the window and stared at his aunt in shock, and promptly turned red. He began stuttering an apology, mumbling into his knees. "No! I mean... sorry.. I just… I was.."

His aunt sighed, and said "there's no need to apologize, it's alright if you mumble, you know. I just thought you were talking to us, that's all." She smiled again, and turned to his uncle. "so have you heard of him jet?" she asked

He sighed and nodded, not taking his eyes off the road. "Shinji-kun?" Shinji looked at him. "You are going to meet your father tomorrow. He sends his regards, and hopes to meet you in Tokyo-3 at midday tomorrow. We'll pack for you, so don't worry." He smiled at the boy's reaction and continued. "However, there is one small… favor I have to ask from you" his facial expression turned very grave. Shinji gulped, having seen the same expression only once before. And that had ended badly for everyone concerned. "y… yes?" he replied, concern radiating from his face.

The grey- haired man nodded to his wife, who nodded back as serious as he was, before saying "you are the only one who can do this, and the responsibility rests on your shoulders and your shoulders alone. You must face the coming demons with headstrong will and a pure heart. Something you, of all people should understand most of all. You must…" here he paused; turning the corner into the driveway leading up to the house's parking lot. He continued parking into the slot and seemed to have something on his mind.

"What is it, uncle? What must be done?" his voice quivered, and he dreaded the response that was imminently going to come.

Both adults nodded to each other and she said. "He is ready, you must ask this now. "

They both looked back and he said "you must… _cook us your special chicken ramen tonight!" _with that, both faces lit up as they saw the confusion on Shinji's face. Then it dawned on him, and he split his lips to let out the laughter that they shared for quite some time.


	3. Saturation

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

Chapter three: Saturation

Shinji leaned against the window of the train. The pole masts flashed by every second or so, and he kept darting to the next as soon as one had passed. He let his mind wander a bit as he had another three hours ahead of him. Remembering the gift he had received at the station jus before departing, he popped the cassette out of his SDAT player and picked the new tape from it's cover. Putting it in, he wondered at the choice. He usually bought tapes of music that seemed happy, joyous. This one seemed tragic. Amongst other songs, he listened through the opening theme to Mozart's Reqiem, and some others, like Lacrimosa, or Lilium. He listened to them all, as he pondered what lay ahead of him, what his father had to call him for, of all people.

Somehow he didn't expect it to be good.

_-"-_

Arriving in Tokyo 3, he got out of the train, heaving his luggage out with him. After leaving the empty train, he looked around the place. A literal battlefield. Cars just stood in the middle of the streets, doors ajar with the motors still running. Wondering about the state the place was in, he reached into the left pocket and pulled out the printout email he had been given to get here. On it was, rather obviously, a woman he didn't know, but seemed to know _him, _due to her inexplicably open dress code. If you could even call what she was wearing a dress code. More like a bare excuse not to go walking around with her tits out. Huh, he wasn't complaining.

He reached a payphone and dialed the number he had on the email. A voice monotonely informed him that due to a terrible crisis, all phone lines were offline. The voice continued to wish him a nice day. Boy was he in for a shock.

About thirty seconds after he hung up and collected his residual cash, he saw a sight not many live to see. A girl, with flowing, long pink hair. He blinked, and she was gone.

Suddenly, he heard a jet engine whine and fail, turned, and screamed as he saw the VTOL come crashing down towards him. He flung himself to the floor, and barely avoided the eight ton aircraft as it plunged into the road not twenty feet in front of him.

Then he looked up into the fearsome face of… of…* _something huge and green and walking towards me!*_ He tried to gather himself up and flee, but wasn't getting anywhere. Suddenly he was nearly driven over by a blue car, screeching to a halt and doing a perfect 180 turn before its passenger seat was flung open and the woman on his photo called out to him.

"Hey, if you want to live, hurry up and get your butt in here!"

Humph, so much for a welcoming hand. He rushed over to the car and barely managed to close the damn door before she revved her engine and took off down the road away from the giant green thing. Which, he noticed, had a white bird-like mask plastered on its body. He stared at it in disbelief for a while before being flung into the door as she turned a corner _without breaking_, narrowly missing the cornerstone. Clinging on to the seatbelt, he just prayed that he wouldn't die today, or at least not until he had stood on dry land again.

_-"-_

He silently trudged behind his… captor? Savior? Either title suited the woman as she opened the door to the same hallway _again_ for the third time. Apparently she wasn't so good with reading a map, and soon managed to lug his sorry ass through quite a portion of the geo front. Just not the bit they needed to go to, apparently.

"Man, this place is like a mausoleum. I'm sure we passed this place before…" uncertainly she looked around, glancing to the numbers on the doors they passed. *soon we'll be coming up to the same damn intersection and take a left _again_, only to come here in another twelve minutes. Oh, man, are all the people here like her?* he sighed, and said "Maybe we should take a right this time.."

She harrumphed, and crossed her arms. Walking briskly, she countered "oh, I'm sure _you_ know this place by heart, don't you? Well let's just see if we don't pass here again, mister know it all!" with that, they reached the intersection and turned right. Two minutes later they stood in front of an elevator. Silently fuming, Misato punched the call button while Shinji wisely pulled put the slim booklet he'd received from her earlier and began to read.

_-"-_

As she woke, she felt the weight of the world practically on her shoulders. Her eyes registered the white ceiling, and the steady rhythmic beeping of the cardiac monitor reminded her of existence. Painful existence.

"What am I doing here?" she whispered, her head ached, and pretty much everything else of her as well. "Why am I here?" she grunted in pain at the words, not willing to accept her avoidance of death. *Have they not tortured me enough? Just let me die…*

Her mind was in turmoil, and the headache and pain wasn't helping either. Groaning softly, she turned her head to the window. The red evening sky sun burned the clouds, and streaks of violet and orange were splashed across the horizon. She stared at the symphony of colors, her eyes slightly screwed up against the glare.

*The color of blood…* she thought. Something wet was trickling down her face. A second tear followed soon after, and her eyes closed in sadness.

*Kohta…*

After some time, she opened them again, and looked at her reflection…

"What the hell?" The face reflected off the windowpane wasn't hers, at least if her memory hadn't been damaged so badly. She screwed her eyes shut and opened them again, not believing what she saw. She pulled her hand to her face…

"AAAAAAHHHH!" wrong arm.

As soon as the pain receded, and she'd regained the ability to take in her surroundings, she carefully pulled her left hand up to her face. Red eyes stared back at her, something she was used to. But the blue hair was something of a surprise. Pulling a tuft of hair down for her to see better, she began to realize that something wasn't as it was supposed to be. She stared back at her mirror image.

She let her hair fall back, and shifted her gaze to her hands. They seemed pail, almost completely white. She turned it over, to stare at its back. It also seemed that the hand was smaller. She began looking herself over. But all she could see was her arms at the moment. Any attempt to actually lift her head was punished by a surge of pain in her neck. The bandage over her eyes were a nuisance, she couldn't judge distance either. She fell, hitting her elbow and losing consciousness instantly.

After about thirty seconds, the elevator announced its arrival on their designated floor. Misato was about to exit when another woman blocked her way out, leaning on the frame. Misato cringed slightly, nervousness clearly written on her face. Not to mention the embarrassment of someone she was looking for actually finding her first.

"Ritsuko! How very nice to see you! Have you lost some weight? You look great today, you know that?" her attempt to avoid the coming confrontation succeeded only partially, as the woman snorted once and uncrossed her arms, flinging them into the air.

"Why! Why can't you be on time just once in a while? Huh? You know damn well that we don't have near enough manpower to make a Geofront-wide manhunt for you, captain! This should be possible…echh" she dropped her hands into her pockets.

Misato made a half bow and grinned apologetically. " Uhh, sorry."

Ritsuko Akagi sighed, rolling her eyes. Looking for some kind of distraction, she noticed Shinji.

"Is this the third?" she asked, glancing at Misato.

"Yeah! I found him just in time! We're already good friends " she beamed, eyes closed with a grin that almost separated her head from her neck. Glancing down at the boy, who had chosen that moment to stare at the back of Misato's head in disbelief, she didn't take long to surmise what had happened.

"you were almost too late, am I right?" she looked at her friend, who started stammering excuses.

Finally thought, she turned around and led the two down the empty hall towards a locked gate.

Akagi turned the key in the lock mechanism, and entered a six digit code, confirming it with her ID card. The lights on top of the pad turned green, and the door slid open with a hiss. She turned round to look at him, sighing softly. Then she walked straight in, motioning them both to follow.

Shinji entered the darkened room. This seemed to be important. The reason for his being here? Quite possibly.

All of a sudden, the door behind him slid shut, plunging the group into absolute darkness. Misato cursed under her breath, face-palming herself. NERV had billions of yen to create what they did, but they had to shut off the lights in the cages to conserve energy. Man, this was dumb.

"Hey, where are the lights? " Shinji's yelp as she activated the fluorescent lighting system confirmed her presumed reaction to the sight in front of him. A huge, horned armor plated head stared at him with black eyes, unseeing, terribly frightening and not twenty feet in front of him. He recovered after a while and plunged into his book, hoping to find an explanation for this.

"You won't find this in the regulations. This is classified even to some of our own. Up until now, that is. He looked at her, curious for information.

"This is the synthetic humanoid Evangelion unit 01. Humankind's last trump card against the angels. And the only hope of our survival." She looked him squarely in the eyes, her expression hard, calculating.

"And you why have brought me here? Is this what my father has been working on all this time? "

"Correct" the voice boomed over the loudspeakers above them, from the command booth now lit up, with the idly grinning Gendo Ikari standing inside. "It's been a while…" he added.

"Father…"

He turned away. The face of his father. The father who rejected him. The father who hurt him.

Gendo Ikari smirked. *Just as I suspected.*

"We will sortie immediately." He said.

Misato stared at him with wide eyes. "But unit 00 is not out of cryostasis yet! How…" she looked at 01 "… you can't be seriously thinking about using unit 01! And Rei is still in critical… we have no pilot!" she concluded angrily.

Akagi sighed. "Yes, we have to use unit 01, and you have just delivered the third Child. So we have both the means to fight as well as the pilot." She turned to him, and said "Shinji, you will be the pilot."

He looked up to her, then up to his father. "Is this the reason I'm here?"

"Yes. Now get inside, pilot, or we will all die" Gendo's heartless voice seemed to break the last straws of his silence.

"How can you expect me to pilot this thing! I've never done anything like it! I can't do this! It's impossible!"

Misato laid a hand on his shaking shoulders. "You have to do this, Shinji. We're depending on you now. So get in and fight: you mustn't run away, Shinji. "

He gave her no answer.

"If you can do this, get inside and pilot. Otherwise… _leave._ "Gendo put as much venom in the last words as possible.

Lucy finally gained the energy to attempt to get up. Get out, run from this place. She gathered all her resolve and lifted her leg over the bed's border. Setting her foot down, she gently levered her arm over to stand, resting it on her lap. Taking a deep breath, she began to lever herself up, pushing herself forwards with her good arm. Suddenly she slipped, sending her broken arm crashing against the gurney…

Instinctively, she tried to reach out with her vectors to steady herself, but the pain was too great. She fell, and pain speared her from head to toe. She managed to gasp softly before the headache hit her, shunning her into merciful oblivion. Just before losing consciousness, she felt someone grasping her shoulders and trying to lift her…

Rei felt pain. Terrible pain. Her elbow was on fire. Someone was lifting her, putting her down on the soft sheets of the hospital's bed. Gently, the nurse rearranged her arm to a more comfortable position. After checking her vitals, she left, not saying a single word. Rei still felt the pain, but experience had taught her not to focus on it for too long. Silently she contemplated for herself.

*this creature, Lucy. A damaged and split person, sad in its broken and battered mind, longing for oblivion. Ceated for one purpose, and one purpose only. To end humanity. Just like myself, in a way*

But why did I reach out? My purpose is endangered if I take this risk. What if he finds out? Will he discard…

*of course. He will replace me with an uncorrupted body, just like before. This is what has to be.*

But the soul coexisting with her seemed to have some ulterior meaning to itself. More than just a face, it was somehow important to her. A soul she had saved. Something terrible she had experienced. And the relief that washed over it as it faced it's death. Had she done the right thing? Or is oblivion all this damaged mind can crave for now…

_Lucy felt light as a feather. Drifting so aimlessly, she found herself void of emotion. No sadness, no joy. Nothing.  
She opened her eyes slowly, pointlessly. Darkness. Absolute darkness. No difference from closed eyes, no point. Closing her eyes required energy, and as both open and closed eyes were no different, she decided lazily to leave them open. The soft warmth of the abyss caressed her, and soundless space enveloped her. Staying here would be nice, peaceful. *Agreeable*_

_Wait, that voice…_

_*you have taken what is not yours. You must return to your own world. You must fulfill our destiny.*_

_Kaede… no!_

_*oh yes, Lucy. I won't let go so soon. We have a great destiny to fulfill. Our place in our world is and always will be our destiny. You know that. I know that. So why do you revel in pain and despair? We are the future. Take the responsibility! Take your place as foretold!*_

_No… let me be. I don't want to anymore, so stop. Leave. _

_*You think I can just leave? I am part of you, Lucy! Or rather, you are part of me! You know damn right that I can take over anytime I want. So don't insult me with such pointless gestures…*_

The cage shook.

Gendo stared at the ceiling, muttering under his breath. He looked down upon his son, and smirked at his antiques. *Useless, as I thought.* after giving Shinji one last uncaring glance, he summoned Fuyuzuki .

"Prepare Rei. The Spare is useless"

"But… can we use her? She is badly wounded still, sir."

"She's not dead. She will pilot again."

"… understood sir."

The window closed. After a few seconds, he called Rei on voice-only.

"Rei."

"yes, sir"

"you will do it again. The third is useless."

"yes, sir"

He cut the line, and looked back down at his son, still standing there on the girder in front of the Eva.

_-"-_

Rei felt the doctors maneuvering her into the plugsuit, removing the IV in her left arm. Silently, she let them manhandle her into it, never giving a sound off herself. The doctors weren't unkind, but neither had they shown any sign of genuine concern. Although knowing that she was a human/Angel hybrid, most people would run screaming from her.

Finally fitted, she was wheeled into the cage of unit 01, their only functioning unit. But wait…

There was another person there, standing with his head bowed in front of the giant evangelion. She passed him, and caught his eyes with hers. Blue, like the sky of a summer day. Wide, questioning, not understanding. The moment passed, and they reached the entry plug. Painfully, she sat up, pulling herself over to the edge to stand up. Of course, no one helped her. Who would?

The cage shook, and this time the angel had struck even nearer. The neon lighting grid over them swung wildly, and two tore loose and hurtled towards the umbilical bridge. More precisely, to her.

The gurney had broken one wheel, and so she tumbled out of it, on to the unforgiving cold stel floor. She shrieked in pain once more, and managed to glimpse both lights crashing towards her…

Shinji had taken off towards her as soon as the floor shook so violently. Unknowing, he rushed to help her, the strange girl he'd never met before. He reached her just in time to look up and see the lighting rig crash down to them. Fearfully, he braced himself over the girl, his back arching over her damaged body. Soon, he would be dead. He realized this without much doubt.

*Why did you bring me her, father? Why did you kill me…*

Rei felt herself drift to darkness fast. Just before going under, she felt arms wrap around her…

Lucy woke, and felt the pain stiffen her again. This time, there were no soft sheets covering her, no soft white light bathing her. Green, everything around her was green. And one purple smudge. Loud noises. And a pair of arms around her. Suddenly the light was blocked out, and a shadow stretched over her. Then she saw the falling lights, hurtling towards them with a unstoppable forcefulness. The figure was over her, still over her. The lights were only a few metres above them.

*Kohta?... Kohta!* the figure held her the same way as he had. And now the lights would crush her…

"_no_!" she whispered, hurtling forwards with her vectors. She felt them again, just much, much weaker than before. But there was just enough strength in her to smash the steel constructs aside and save both of them. *Kohta…* she glanced into the boy's face, and didn't recognize him. Not at all. "Who are you?" she managed, then felt his hands clench in surprise.

He was still alive. He couldn't believe it, but he was still alive. The rest of the steel light boxes were lying around them, slightly bent. *Man I'm lucky* the girl was asking him something, and promptly he felt joy fil his heart. The girl was safe, for now. And father wanted to send her out against that monster? How can he live with himself?

He began to realize, that he had no choice. Either stay and fight, or let this girl fight in his stead. Somehow that was not an option. Letting his wish for peace slide to the back, he looked up, and faced his demons.

"All right! I'll do it! I'll pilot it!"

**A/N:**

**Well it's taken long. Too long. But I am not sorry. This chapter was a real bitch to write. Sometimes I couldn't keep going for more than ten words at a time. Then the last thousand words fell into place like a self-completing puzzle. **

**So. **

**I hope you enjoyed this, and thank you for reading. Please review, as I am curious to find out what you think about this. **

**Well, I'll be working on chapter four, Attack, so bear with me through these difficult times. **

**Now, time to go, Lucy's screaming something at me. I can make out the words "end you", so I better hurry…**


	4. Attack

Disclaimer; I don't own or in any way possess the Dead Sea scrolls. This concurs with the rights to NGE also. And EL. Ahem.

A/N; and there goes number four. So. Now some answeres for those who reviewed without leaving a possibility to respond;

Narkome; I'm working on it, but this is my style of writing. I delve into emotions far too much, I know. But that might change. And yes, I know that Kaede is her name, but I prefer that she remains Lucy, for the time being.

Wyrken; Handy… LOL

And thanks for the pic. Looks good, and makes a good wallpaper. :)

Chapter four: Attack

Shinji sat in the entry plug. The A-10 clips pressing against his head were the only additional tools he was given to pilot the 70 meter behemoth. He frankly had no idea whatsoever of what he was expected to do, and the anxiety built up inside him. The fluid around him, which he hated because of its taste, was warm, almost like a bath. He had wondered before what the meaning of it was, but Akagi had explained while they rushed him into the Entry Plug. The weird incident with the steel girder and the lighting still ran through his mind. As soon as they had reached the metal tube, she had pulled a headband- like thing out of her deep pockets, almost like she'd forgotten something. She motioned him to stand before her as she steeped it over his cranium. Then she'd turned him round and told him to get in.

*weird woman* he thought. Somehow he felt safer outside her reach. He sighed, or rather, tried to sigh, as the lcl prevented his vocal cords from vibrating. This meant, of course, that he couldn't speak. However, as the doctor called for his attention, his voice seemed to work for some reason.

"For now, all we need you to do is walk; we'll do the main work. Now concentrate on that, and you'll be just fine. Remember! Its foot is your foot; its hand is your hand. Etc, etc. Understood?"

"Hai" he answered, still nervous. Misato popped up on a second screen, a worried look on her face. She looked directly in the screen and asked "are you ready?" he nodded, still feeling unwell. Misato leaned back and turned around to face the commander.

"Are you sure we can do this?" she asked, looking him in the face to find any kind of reaction at all. His poker face remained inert, cold as usual as he answered.

"It is our only hope that he succeeds. Unless the angels are defeated, mankind is doomed to destruction."

With that, Misato nodded once, then turned back to the screen, the determination clearly on her face. She breathed in and let it out once, then called

"Evangelion unit one, Launch!"

_-"-_

Shinji felt the gee- forces ripple his skin as he was catapulted up into the exit shaft above. The creaking of metal rang through the plug, and he began to fear that he'd be crushed before he got a chance to fight. Seconds later, he felt the pressure release, and a few moments afterwards, he was nearly yanked out and flung against the ceiling of his plug. The thud of the dampers taking the full force of a 200 ton armored Evangelion echoed through the entire mass. He felt a little dazed, but the damping function of the lcl prevented him ending as a red smear on the metal surface. Then he saw the Angel turn towards him.

"Shinji! Concentrate on walking for now, we'll do the rest." Came the voice of the op's director. He heard a clang as the final safety locks fell away, and the Evangelion slumped forwards. Shinji cried out and braced himself, preparing for the fall. But after a few moments, he looked again, and saw the arms of the purple behemoth crossed in front of him in the same manner as he had. And one foot was placed in front of the other, to steady himself.

_-"-_

In central dogma, the synch officer Maya Ibuki gasped das the synch rate spiked to 56 percent, just before dropping back to 44 as before. "He can vary it as well? That's amazing!" Dr Akagi let out a breath she hadn't noticed holding for a while, and said "It's the process of intuition, as they seem to reach out in times of stress or danger. This, however, is rather unexpected at such an early stage. Even Rei needed four months to be able to synchronize with unit zero, and even then it was a failure. I'm not sure this will end well. " Her voice trailed off at the last words, as the Angel took a step forwards, then walking straight up to the Evangelion.

"Distance four hundred" came the voice of lieutenant Aoba, as he read the proximity gauge on the screen.

"Shinji. Now you know how to do basic stuff, you must fight the target." Captain Katsuragi leaned into the screen, and Shinji felt scared once again as the monster advanced on to him at its steady, slow pace.

"Fight it? How? I don't know how! The army couldn't do anything against it…" suddenly a beam lashed from the thing, and crashed into the Evangelion's head armor. Shinji screamed in pain as the neurological connections routed the experience of hot armor against skin to his face.

He clutched at his face and felt the mecha collapse to its knees, and falling onto its face. Pain flushed over him as he screamed for all his life. After a moment, he felt himself be forcefully picked up by the head and hung in front of the monster. He stared in shock at the Angel's evil mask, then felt his arm being grabbed and pulled. Pain shot up his arm, and he screamed again and grabbed his arm.

"Shinji! That's NOT your arm being hurt, understood? Get the angel! Use the other arm!" Misato's voice cracked as she watched the angel's onslaught upon the Eva.

"Where's his A.T. field? Why hasn't it deployed?" she screamed at the technicians.

Maya spoke without turning to her. "I can't activate it! It's being blocked from inside! The signal isn't registering at all!" the screen blinked another "SIGNAL FAILURE" at her, in big, ominous red letters. She glanced at the synch rate and nearly fell back off the chair. "Synch rate at 85 percent…" she called, and the captain stared at her in shock. All eyes turned to the big screen and saw the angel break the arm of the Evangelion. It was bad.

_-"-_

Shinji felt pain course up his arm, and felt too weak even to scream. Then the red gleam in the Angel's palm grew bright. And then a bolt formed behind it. The bolt retracted and then crashed into the head, adding to the already overwhelming pain he was experiencing. After a few more thrusts, the spear penetrated the armor and flung him crashing into the building behind him.

_-"-_

_*Where am I? What is this place?* the first questions drifted slowly through his consciousness as he seemed to float through the void, feeling comfortable and warm. He let the feeling take him towards the soft light, so far away. _

_*So you're running away already, Shinji?* a voice tickled the back of his mind, somehow being recognized in an unconscious, weird sort of way. He let himself drift to nonchalance. The indifference was portrayed quite obviously on his face. The voice was right, however. But that didn't matter. He was going to a safe place now, and that only made everything else irrelevant. Soon, he would finally be at peace. _

_*You have to go back, Shinji. A lot of people are relying on you, and you alone. Most other people would have the right to choose the easiest way out. In other circumstances, you would have every right to do this. But, unfortunately, you cannot retreat, not now.*_

_*Who are you?* he asked softly, turning his head this way and that, to get a glimpse of the person trying to hinder him verbally. His eyesight was bad, he saw everything as a huge blur, and the darkness behind him betrayed not a single thing towards his eyesight. That, and the fact that he didn't care made him turn towards the light again. _

_*you have it easy to speak such words of wisdom, whoever you are. *He drifted further into the light. _

_I know exactly what you suffered, and I have suffered with you. I know you; your thoughts are mine as well. We haven't seen eye to eye, but I need your cooperation. _We_ need your cooperation. As I said before, the future rests in your hands. But you can make the choice to leave, or stay back and fight. For us all. And for yourself, as well.*_

_*first, you say that I cannot go, and now you say I have a choice. What kind of weird thing is it you're trying to tell me?* he turned again, and fought the stiffness that held him oriented forwards. He managed to see back, but It cost him a lot of willpower. _

_There was… a figure standing quite near. The outline was fuzzy, but he seemed to regain focus as he turned. The feeling of fatigue was increasing, but he fought it. _

_*you are destined for greatness, even though you don't know it. I helped to make you that way, now, and I hope you use that power for goodness. It's important to know this, Shinji.*_

_He began to recognize arms, legs, the shape of a body. Female, he noticed, as his focus began showing ever more detail. He realized that he was looking at a naked woman. This fact dawned to him as well as the fact that it didn't bother him as it usually would. He began recognizing facial features, eyes, nose, mouth. After a while she said something_

"… _you must go on. I am watching over you. Now take my hand." He tried, but couldn't. _

_*I can't turn around. I'm too weak. I can't…*_

_The woman was nearer now. He saw the eyes. Blue, just like his. And brown hair aswell. He thought he had never seen her in his life, but somehow, she seemed familiar. Like someone you met ten years ago, but couldn't recognize anymore. But he seemed to remember the face from not so long ago. Where did he know it from?_

_*The girl at the cage. That's who she reminds me of. Yes that must be it.* he felt something pull at his shoulder. A hand was gripping him from in front of him. He turned slowly back and saw… _

_The angel. Its lances shining bright, ready to strike a hole into his shoulder. He felt an emotion stir inside him. He felt like waking up from a dream. A Bad dream. And the monster of the nightmare had finally found a way of following into the real world. Terror gripped him, the sinking of his stomach felt like lead weights inside him, Ice cold. He tried to grip the hand grasping his shoulder, to pull it away. He managed to grab his assailant's hand and pulled. He felt the grasping hand clench even stronger. It was beginning to hurt. He guided his other hand to help the first. The creature held his shoulder pinned, even though he pulled with all his might. _

_*Why won't you let me go! Let… go…* his voice drifted away as his energy seemed to run out. He felt heavy, tired. And his vision was beginning to blur again. Then a hand reached over his shoulder and grasped the fiend's wrist. _

_*this has gone far enough, Sachiel! You will not pass, fucker!* with those words, her felt the angel's hand release with a snap of breaking bone. All of a sudden, his vision returned to its perfect state and he no longer felt tired. Glancing over his shoulder, he met the azure eyes of the woman who had spoken earlier. She had a determined look on her face and laid a hand on his cheek. _

_*rest now, Shinji-kun. I will take over for now. I will always be here for you. Now, rest, Shinji…*_

_His eyes became heavy, and he could have sworn he tasted blood in his mouth before he slid into unconsciousness. _

_-"-_

"Unit one has ceased transmitting! Pilot status unknown! Umbilical cable transmission disconnected!" Lieutenant Ibuki shouted over to the operations Director, captain Katsuragi.

**A/N: uhhhh….**

**Well, to be honest, this chapter was written way before the third. I keep writing snippets of the future, which turn out to be much more than just a few words.**


	5. Introspection

Disclaimer; I do not own NGE, the Reiquarium, an Evangelion or a Diclonious. Please don't sue me or else you'll lose more money than you could ever get from me.

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**.  
**

Chapter 5; Introspection

Rei Ayanami had, many times before, questioned the nature of her being. Not only her physical existence, but also more. Her soul, for one thing. It was unique and yet so banal, so… uninteresting.

And yet, she was the key to revolutionize human kind. To create a new future.

She had thought that only one such as her could do such a thing. Until now, that is.

The mind of Lucy was like an itch she couldn't scratch, just barely noticeable and yet very powerful. Judging from her memories, she had just as much destructive evolution in mind as she had. This might seem, to many, as an inconvenience. Rei Ayanami however had found someone to ask the questions she could not ask anyone else, even him.

Yes, she seemed unemotional to others. Yes, she seemed cold. But all that was because she knew nothing else. Her first decade was spent in isolation, nothing but white coats and serious looks surrounding her. One face however always stood out.

Commander Ikari.

And now his son, who to all the world seemed spineless and weak, had been fighting angels he had known nothing of, with a weapon he had also known nothing of, for a purpose he, for obvious reasons, could know nothing of.

Why? Why could someone do something so …_unpleasant…_ without knowledge and reason? Why would someone give his life for people he had never met, never known? He did not fight for his father. He had refused him once already. No living relative was in danger, at least not in immediate danger, and he had no ties except his father in NERV.

So why do you fight, Ikari?

A feeling of numbness spread over her right arm. As she bent her head over to see, she noticed an IV dripping some kind of liquid into her. The pain was subsiding, and she felt the void spread over her body until she fell asleep.

.

.

_Lucy's mind registered some weak kind of awareness. Just like waking up. Without the clearing of the mind. _

_Painfully, her thoughts formed, slowly. Not like before. Her mind had felt free, unhindered. She knew, somehow, that freedom could be achieved somehow. Instinct told her so. But instinct also told her to stay put, for now. Somehow, freeing herself would cause much more pain than relief. So she let her mind drift, aimlessly. _

_Memories of a lifetime of violence and bloodshed were soldered firmly in her mind. Not out of need to survive, not out of revenge. Just because they were an inconvenience. Because they stood in her way. In Keade's way. In the way to her inheritance. _

_And the shame she still felt, realizing this. The blood she'd spilled still felt fresh on her hands, invisible to most, unbelievable by many. And yet all to satisfy her needs. _

_The darkness, in her mind. The endless void that filed her heart with pain, hate and shame. _

_Her past. _

_And one, just one person who took her as she was, and befriended her. _

_*Kohta…*_

_The shining gem of a day, spent with a friend, experiencing things she had never known of, never heard of in the orphanage. _

_And the tears of betrayal she'd shed before she'd killed his relatives before his very eyes. _

_And his wail of anguish as he watched her, the girl he'd reached out to so much, tear his sister apart and his father's head off his shoulders. _

_And the hunt for her, capture of her, _torture_ of her…._

_She'd held on. For ten years she'd held on. Just waiting for one chance, one last hope. To set things right, to apologize. _

_Armies of solders, agents, doctors… civilians… all slain. All torn apart in her mission of redemption. _

_How ironic… to kill for an apology._

_+Why?+_

_The thought pierced the fog of her mind like fire through ice. Sharp and clear, her thoughts condensed on it._

_*Because it was the only way. Because they would kill me if I didn't kill them.*_

_The mind of Rei conveyed confusion. Lucy mentally sighed. *Why don't you get rid of me? I am nothing but a hindrance to you. You're endangering everyone by letting me be*_

_+I have not found any reason to dispose of you. I find it strange, but somehow you are important to me. You have changed my mind on some… things. I have questions for you. Questions I cannot ask anyone else. In order to understand me, however, you must learn more about me.+_

_Lucy felt like being dumped in water. Sound, thoughts and visual data seemed blurred. All she could see was red. But not only her eyes captured it. She even felt red, smelled red and tasted red. Then, she was suspended in complete weightlessness. There was a cross standing in the middle of a huge domed cavern. Stapled to it was some huge white monster, with hundreds of legs sticking out at various angles. _

_+This is my progenitor. It is the first angel, Lilith. I am part of it and therefore a Lilim. You are Diclonious, so you will understand, I think.+_

_Lucy could only feel shocked at what she saw. The mutilated monster in front of her was the creator of-_

_+No. It is not Lilith that created me. I am a creation of Commander Ikari. He created me based off Lilith's design. I have human genes as well, stabilizing my body's deterioration outside the reach of Lilith. You must understand that I was not born to this world by normal ways. I am like you. Created for a purpose, and only for that purpose. For all the world sees us as instruments to a purpose. You in your world have learned that being such an instrument can bring only destruction. Thus you chose death+_

_Lucy felt this fact settle in. Yes, it was true. She had been used like a toy. Replaceable and not worth caring for. Worthless and despicable. Unloved, but once. _

_She felt the sadness draw up on her, the wave poised to crash over her and drown her. _

_+You feel these emotions. I am curious as to the purpose of them. I have, until contacting you, never experienced emotions…+_

_The thought was laced with uncertainty. Lucy was surprised as hell. *You feel no emotions? What have they done to you?*_

_+I do not know why. I find it strange also. So as you have introduced me to them, will you teach me these things?+_

_Rei's form reached out, hands stretched out towards her. Lucy hesitantly reached out to touch them…_

_._

_.  
_

Misato Katsuragi clenched her fists. No transmission whatsoever emanated from the Eva, giving all the hope of a dead herring in a volcano.

Everything was completely silent. Until…

"Unit one has reactivated!"

.

* * *

.

Shinji woke with a start, sweat pouring down his face, his covers drenched in it. He tried to catch his breath as he looked around wildly. Panic rose in his chest as he failed to recognize his surroundings. He flailed around to get out, run…

He woke again. Slightly weak, he felt the soft breeze wash over his face. The window was open, letting in the ever beautiful summer day. Letting his head fall back down onto the pillow, he gazed at the white lighting panel above him.

"Unfamiliar ceiling…"

Where the hell was he?

*It smells like a hospital…*

Why was he here?

*… I don't know…*

.

.

Rei felt herself being moved. The ceiling was traveling before her eyes, and she realized that the gurney was being moved. Probably from critical to her personal room.

She shuddered, ever so slightly. Something she had never done before. The coldness of the room's interior had never bothered her. So why now?

Questions, needing answers, which in turn lead to more questions, an everlasting ring of uncertainty. The Commander, now walking side by side with her gurney, she realized, had taught her that. Curiosity can be you downfall. Concentrate on the matter at hand. Prepare for your time to come. Don't let anything distract you from that goal.

But she had been curious for the soul now residing inside her, and what she'd meant as she'd pulled her out of near death. Love. What was it? Painful, yet strangely comforting. She'd wanted to ask the commander, but somehow never got the chance. Even now, as he walked beside her, she did not find a suitable way to express her curiosity without him suspecting anything. He would surely replace her. *But Why? Curiosity is a human trait. It has lead the way to today's marvels. So why would he suppress it in me* _because you're not human_.

Yes, and no. Yes, because she knew the origin of her non-humanity. And no because she felt, tasted and smelled the world like any other human being. And now...

Someone was standing at the window, looking at her passing by. Recognition flashed over her as she looked into his eyes.

The Third Child, Ikari Shinji. The son of Commander Ikari. His only living remnant of his family. Roughly the same age as her, as well. And he had fought the third Angel without training, foreknowledge or hope. But he had the chance to run away, as she had been prepared to fight. Then she had been thrown off the gurney and into oblivion. Apparently, he'd rushed to help her. Then he'd fought the angel. To spare her. He had risked the world, just to spare her the pain. *Why such selflessness? Why take the responsibility you don't have to? Why… for me?*

The moment passed and their eyes parted.

.

.

Shinji stood at the window, staring after the retreating figures. The girl he had fought for, with his father. Who, of course, did not give him any sign of recognition. But the girl had. Her eyes had widened, ever so slightly, and she had followed his eyes for all seven seconds as she passed by. She seemed apathic, almost asleep emotionally. But there was something there, just very little.

He looked after the retreating figures. As soon as they moved out of sight, he shook his head and went back to his room. Soon he would be picked up, and he hated to be late.

.

.

Misato came half an hour later, all smiles and grins.

"Hey there! I was worried about you! Glad you could make it so soon. Man! You must be really bored right now, right? And you still have nowhere to live yet, so let's go figure out where you'll live, yeah?"

Misato's verbal barrage nearly keeled him over, but the positive air around her seemed to be infectious, so he couldn't help a smile himself.

"O-okay.." he stuttered, hoping against all hope that he would not have to live with his father. Not after what he had made him do. Or at least, not yet.

Misato lead him to the population control centre, this time without the help of a map, since she had been this way not too long before either. The glass floor of the waiting room gave them an awesome view of the Geo front's interior, the pyramid and its lake nearly directly below them. After a while, a grey clad beurocrat entered, his gait slightly irregular, like he was unsure.

"Goodday-madam… and sir. I have.. your livingassignements… ready-for-you." His speech patterns matched his gait, and Shinji had the feeling he needed a replacement battery.

"Youwill… live.. withcaptain.. Katsuragi as your guar…dian" At this, Misato turned white as a sheet. "Bu-but why-"

"Your commander… has transferredallresponsibillity… to you, captain, as he gave you theorder to pickhimup" with that, he grimaced, or tried to smile apologetically. Neither was for sure, as both subjects were too confused to notice.

Misato tried to come up with a snappy answer, but the guy had already turned to go. The orders were clear, and, probably, legal by now, so there was nothing she could do anymore. But, being Misato, she had one last thing she had to do.

Complain to Ritsuko.

.

* * *

.

An hour of futility later, Misato slammed the speaker back into its booth angrily. Shinji visibly flinched. She had, after half an hour, given up on her primary objective. She spent the last thirty minutes arguing Ritsuko into sending a cleaners team to her place before she embarrassed herself even more. Ritsuko had laughed shrilly as she pleaded for her help.

"You're just gonna have to take the fall, Misato, I can't get that through the Commander. Just _imagine_ what he'd have to say. I can hear the lead weights being hung over your desk even now…"

Of course, the last thirty seconds had been spent shouting profanities at her best friend. It kind of said a lot about her friendship ideals.

As she grumpily opened the booth's door, she spotted Shinji slightly cowering away from her. Misato knew she was being unfair to her new charge, and she would make up to him as soon as possible, but this kind of crap really pissed her off. She stopped, and took a deep breath.

Well, might as well make the most of it...

"Well, Shinji, since you're my new roomie, we'll need some more food at _our_ place..." she nudged him in the ribs and grinned mischievously. Shinji's eyes widened in shock at her sudden change of attitude. He smiled back nervously, wondering what the hell was going on.

.

.

At the store, Shinji found out just what the hell was going on.

"Look, Misato-san, eating just instant food is really bad for your digestion..." he was cut off by an irate woman stamping her foot.

"And you would know this from where exactly? I have lived with this for the last two months, and I look no worse for wear!"

Shinji sighed softly as she continued stuffing the crate with instant ramen, lasagna and curry rice, seemingly choosing at random from all products. Beer featured largely in her diet as well, and the two six-packs of Yebisu seemed to be her most prized legacy. Was Misato an alcoholic? Probably not, maybe she had someone at home... most likely.

Looking sadly at the overloaded crate he was carrying, he sighed and tried to come to terms with his fate.

"Well, are you going to stand there all evening or what?" came Misato's voice from around the aisle. Shinji grunted and made his way to the till, too tired to bother much about it now.

The tiller was and elderly lady, probably sixty or so, and moving the food and beer was a seemingly challenging task for her. Of course this didn't bother Shinji much, but as he waited very patiently for her to finish, her overheard a couple of women talking about what had happened not so long ago.

.

.

The Food stashed in the car and on Shinji's lap, they made their way to Misato's apartment. Misato had noticed the change in his demeanor after she'd heard what they had said.

_"… and Kasawaki is moving tomorrow. She still thinks that this place is unsafe. I understand her, you know. After last week…"_

_"Yeah, and I heard that my cousin's son got hurt then too. I don't know… if we're really as safe as they say…"_

_._

_.  
_

She decided to show him something. She'd been showed it too, not too long ago, and had found the view awesomely inspiring.

"Shinji, were taking a slight detour. There's something I'd like to show you. "

Shinji started suddenly as she shook him from his reprieve. He glanced at her, confused at what she'd said.

What could she mean?

.

* * *

.

After seeing nothing but black, Rei slowly opened her eyes to a familiar ceiling. The lighting unit was off, sparing her the harsh glow of Neon light. Looking down at her arm, she felt its pressure on her chest. The sling was strung over her shoulder, supporting her broken but healing arm. She felt a slight throb of pain, but the painkillers she'd been administered seemed to keep most of it at bay.

After two minutes, a nurse entered and checked her vitals, making notes on her clipboard, and left.

After that, nothing else happened for an hour.

Now, Rei Ayanami was no stranger to boredom. She had no idea that something as apathic an emotion like boredom could exist, so she engrossed herself in silent contemplation. Another thing the Commander had taught her.

After all, she had some serious thinking to do. Not only had she to decide what to do about her mental hitch-hiker, but what this would do to affect her ultimate purpose. And pursuing anything in between now and then, even as strange a situation as hers, seemed unimportant to the whole scenario.

After all, she was still the key, and no matter how she was affected mentally, she would still be the physical key to the lock. Until then, she would pursue some interesting and stimulating contemplation. Like, for instance, this contradictionary emotion constantly appearing in the backwash of her emotional counterpart Lucy.

Lucy. Kaede. And to some, even Nyu.

All three names a different history, a different person, and yet all the same memories. One mind split three ways; Revenge, redemption and innocence. One life's three phases laid before her, obvious and yet mysterious.

How could she betray such a shattered mind? It longed for comfort and kindness, and had only been shown hate and disgust.

Her loyalty towards Commander Ikari was being put to the test, and losing miserably. She could not allow the commander or the Akagi woman to find out about her… it was unthinkable.

A stinging pain shot through her left palm upwards, and she blinked at it. She had her hand clenched tightly into a fist, and made a small cut in her palm with her fingernails. She stared at the blood, not quite sure what to do. Logically, she should call the nurse. But somehow, she felt the need to let it bleed, just a little longer.

*Is this… anger?*

.

* * *

.

Shinji nearly wet his pants as Misato tore up the road into curves with diameters less than twenty feet at speeds no sane human being would drive. Some guardian angel must be watching over him, because the car never seemed to lose more than two wheels over the edge at a time.

As they finally stopped, he bolted out the door and hugged the ground for a full minute, muttering "Land! _Land_!" over and over until Misato yanked him up and brushed him down a bit.

As he stood over at the fence, he gazed out over the landscape, finding the city placed squarely in the middle of the vale.

"It looks like a bunker" was all he could say.

"Yes. It's still in defense mode, so it will take a few minutes for the Magi to reset it. Weird, since you beat the Angel, it still hasn't been able to restart the system. But Ritsuko should be finished right about now."

A few minutes passed, and still nothing happened.

"Are you sure we're waiting for something to actually happen? Cos I don't think…"

He was cut off by the sound of a siren, and as Misato smiled victoriously, he shifted his eyes towards the city as it began to unfold. The flat surfaces of the bunker-like construct split and opened, revealing several dozen skyscrapers that began their hydraulically assisted rise to the heavens. As they rose, Shinji couldn't help but gasp at the awesome sight before him. Like the huge, doming cavern he had passed through getting inside the Geo Front, the sight was something of a surprise, awesomely majestic and totally cool.

"The buildings… They're growing out of the floor!" he said, still not believing his eyes.

Misato sighed happily. "Yes Shinji. This is our last defense line against the angels, our fortress city Tokyo-III." She turned to him and looked him in the eyes, laying a hand on his shoulder as she chucked his chin. "The City you saved! Now come on, I'm hungry, and Pen-Pen needs feeding as well."

He looked at the city, sighing heavily, and muttered "Well, if I die on the way 'home', at least I've seen something worth dying for…"

With that, he turned and got in the chariot to hell…. Um, Misato's car.

.

* * *

.

**A/N:**

**Hmm… Lucy is nowhere in sight….**

**This is most fortunate. And just a little disturbing. Because she only relents on me if Bando turns up, or some other nuisance… Wait! OMG! One Man Geek Squad's taken too long! Run, OMGS, RUN!**

**Ahem. Damn. Scared my beta reader off. I hope she doesn't hurt him too much, he's still got the rest of the story to beta…**

**Well, there you have it. Chapter, umm, five, in the story. Dealing with some lighthearted stuff now, so there'll be a witty continuity to this chapter. (take a WILD guess what I mean…8D)**

**And now for my reviewers; **

**One Man Geek Squad; …!...all there need to be said… has been said.**

**Wyrken; Heh, just you wait and see…**

**Hope you liked this weird little deviation. Tell me what you think! Now!**


	6. Faith

Disclaimer; I do not own Eva. Neither do you. Mister Anno does, however.

Of Lilim and Lilium

Chapter 6: Faith/Mindset

* * *

Shinji stood at the doorway, just one step in front of the home of Misato Katsuragi, his new guardian.

"Well? Come on in! This is your home now, too."

He hesitated. Living with his aunt and uncle had given him a chance to take friends home, but somehow he seemed to prefer solitude. His uncle had to drag him out of his room at times, and cooking had taught him some skills of Smalltalk, however only with middle-aged people. This kind of gets in the way when you try to make conversation with equally aged kids about the weather and classical music. Somehow they seemed to lose interest, their eyes glazing over as he told them about the (admittedly not so interesting) lives of Bach, Mozart and Rachmaninoff. After trying repeatedly to acquire friends, he gave up after realizing what a bore he really was.

Now, there was someone who was admitting him entry to her home. Never in a million years would he have thought this possible.

He hesitated, and shuffled his feet.

"I… I don't want to intrude…"

She smiled reassuringly, and beckoned for him to come in.

He plucked up the courage to enter and took the step forwards. He looked at his new guardian and greeted as per tradition.

I'm home…"

"Welcome home! Now, let's pack the stuff away and get eating"

Now, the fact that Misato Katsuragi has a high regard of all things alcoholic as well as instant is quite evident after shopping with her today. As he expected, these traits hint that she was not the kind of person who makes a big effort to keep her place tidy. A few cans of soda perhaps, and a dirty instant ramen meal package, even a small collection of sake bottles would have been his guess, but what he came face to… _beer can_ was…. Simply staggering.

Armies of the damn cans were littered all over the place, giving their lives to fight the ever advancing instant meal dishes, who by cowardly desperation had formed an alliance with the bottles faction, giving no quarter as they buried their opponents with their sheer masses.

So, standing there with the shopping in his arms, he felt like being thrown into a napoleon warzone.

"Oh, by the way, I just moved in here myself, so the place is still a little messy. You can chuck the stuff in the fridge."

_She calls this a _little _messy_?

Wading through the sea of junk, he found the fridge. Opening it, he met the barracks of still healthily full beer cans, and the ever hostile instant meals underneath.

Chucking everything in, he wondered where he was staying. The thought was answered by a loud crash, the sound of bouncing cans, and a cursing woman. He stepped out into the hall and noticed a pile lying in front of one of the doors, with wades of the stuff being thrown out onto it.

"_Stupid Ritsuko and her stupid inability to get a stupid cleaning team over stupid stupid stu-"_she noticed him standing in the doorway and froze, an armful of cans in her grasp.

"Uhh... yeah, this is your room. Nice and cozy, isn't it?" she desperately hoped to avoid the obvious issue here, but Shinji seemed not to want to know.

"My stuff's already here? Seems like he's really been wanting to get rid of me in a hurry..." he said, looking at his feet.

Misato grinned at him, dropping the last cans outside and turning back to knelt down and put both hands on his shoulders. "Hey…" she tried to catch his view, and managed to pull his eyes away from his sneakers to her face. "You don't seem to get along well with him, right?" he looked away, unsure and slightly angered at her for mentioning him.

She took that as a yes and sighed. "Guess you're like me in that respect." His eyes widened and he turned to her, meeting her gaze. She tousled his hair and smiled. "Weeelll, since you're my new roomie now, we'll have party! But first, you need a bath. She stood and pointed a finger at him, her other hand on her hip. "Bathing cleans both mind and body! So get in there and have good soak. I'll get everything ready!"

She kicked her shoes off and hung her bomber jacket up at the entrance, then winked at him as she caught him staring. "Well get a move on! I want to surprise you!" with that, she skipped into the kitchen and by the sound of it, began preparing food in her unique and singular manner.

Shinji smiled to himself and opened the box marked with TOILETRIES. _I think I'll like this place after a while…_

_.

* * *

.  
_

Man_, Misato must have some real issues here…_ He looked at his guardian's underwear, feeling slightly guilty as he did. Not looking at the door, he slid it open, and came… well, you know… to face with an unsuspecting penguin. As he was about as high as his legs were long, I'll let _you_ guess what the poor penguin came to face with.

Meanwhile, Misato was preparing supper as she heard a scream from the bathroom. Curiously, she made her way to the hall, where Shinji had fled from the penguin. She sighed, and crossed her arms, leaning against the wall. "What's up?" she asked. _I wonder how long it'll take him to notice that he has no clothes on whatsoever_

"Wha- the… bir… bird. A bird… in the bathroom…" he stuttered, pointing at the penguin, who chose that moment to screech and flee from the kid, making a beeline for his fridge.

"That's a warm water penguin. He's called pen- Pen. He's my other roommate. "

"That thing lives here!"

"Evidently" she shrugged, turning back to the kitchen. "Oh, and you might want to cover up…" she called, and as she walked away, Shinji's face turned roughly the color of a tomato. Shamefaced, he skipped back in the room and closed the door.

Letting the water run, he let himself soak in the warm embrace of the bathwater.

Something itched at the back of his mind, a thought or a memory he knew was there but couldn't identify. It felt like something he'd wanted to forget.

He let himself slide deeper into the water, and turned the taps off, the faint drip drip of the faucet the only interruption of silence.

After a while, he slipped his head under completely, and the soft glunk of moving water, together with the rushing in his ears, made the only sound in his world.

He felt weightless. Safe. Protected.

And then he remembered…

.

* * *

.

_Pain. All around him, pain. _

_His eye hurt, his left arm lanced his brain with pain. He felt blood rushing out his wounds, huge torrents of it. _

_All this pain, because the angel had _hurt_ him._

_Anger. Fear and desperation. But mostly, fury. _

_He lifted his head, and saw the angel pull back to strike a killing blow to his chest, sure and confident of its victory. The lance of pure energy glowed and rushed forwards to meet him, unstoppable, unchallenged…_

_**No**_

_An orange hexagon of light shimmered into view before him, and the lance struck the unsurpassable barrier with huge force. _

_He looked up, anger making him want to scream, rage and pull this fucked down. He hated his father for putting him in this thing. He hated the thing standing in front of him, trying to kill him. And he hated the fact that he was broken, that he hurt, that he couldn't do a thing. All this channeled into his mind, over and over, until he roared in frustration, and leapt at the angel. He hit the barrier full on, unable to get to it. He felt heat flash over his arm, and looked over to see it regenerating, the muscles under the armor twisting and pulling the shattered bone to its original form. The broken armor bent away, leaving the scar visible and fresh to the eye. _

_This barrier would not hold him off, he thought, and drove both arms into it, pushing them through with ease. Finally he tore through, and just as the angel flung it's arms at him, he made a grab for both, then twisted until the angel screamed in pain as they broke, hanging uselessly on its arms. He pulled it to him and gave it a kick, sending it flying into a building behind it. Instantly, he was upon it again, wrenching at the stricken angel, tearing at the red globe with all his might. Then he tore a spike off its body and began pounding it with its own armor, and managed to crack it just as it engulfed him and detonated in a flash of searing light. _

_He picked himself up from the crater, something in the back of his mind telling him he had little time left. He made his way back to where he came from and fell to his knees, anger and revenge still burning his heart away. As he fell, the ruined armor around his face gave in to stress and fell to the ground. He stared at it, and then noticed something in the reflection of the glass front of the building. He turned, and watched in horror as his right eye regenerated in front of him, then focused a green orb on him…_

_.

* * *

.  
_

Misato stared at the instructions on the packet.

"Add water and microwave for three minutes"

She scoffed and flung it away. "To think I'd ever take such stupid advice. This needs a Katsuragi's touch"

Unbeknownst to her, the culinary skills she possessed were inherited from her mother. Even though she'd died giving birth to her, she'd managed to burn salad, boil an egg black and _not follow any recipe at all, _ just the way her mother did.

Pepper, chilly, soy sauce, salt…

Well, you get the picture.

As she mixed, she heard a trashing of something in water coming from the bathroom. Shrugging, she continued 'refining' the dish. After a while, she stopped, as the thrashing was joined by a gurgled scream, and water splashing on the floor. Frowning, she leaned over the bar and looked into the hall. Then she heard the scream again. Desperate, painful.

She dropped the food and flung herself over the bar, rolling and getting back up to run to the bathroom, panic giving her the adrenalin edge she needed. She reached the door and made to pull it open, but it was locked from inside. She drew her leg back and kicked the lock off, then flung the sliding door open to see him trashing wildly, screaming and writhing in pain.

"Shinji! Shinji what's wrong!" she screamed, leaping over to him and pulling him out under his arms. He still flung out his fists, and his legs kept kicking at the water as she tore him out. He caught her on the chin and knocked her down, falling on top of her. She had wrapped her arms around him to pull him out with her fall, and fell on her back, hitting her head. Slightly dazed, she embraced the struggling boy, sitting up to hold him better, and his wild trashing calmed down as she put his head on her shoulder and soothed him. "Shh. Shinji, it's okay, I'm here. It's alright, you're safe now..." her voice was slurred a bit, the daze fuzzing the edge of her consciousness.

Shinji stopped altogether and she felt his tense muscles relax instantly, as he let himself fall into her completely. He began to sob, and hugged her fiercely. As time passed he became quiet, still holding on to her as she rocked him back and forth like a mother would a child.

He felt safe. He felt at peace. He felt warm, and comfortable, and like all other children in a mother's arms, loved.

.

* * *

.

The commander stood at the shattered glass pane. His hands were crossed behind his back, and his gaze was fixed upon the cryogenically frozen unit 00. As Dr. Akagi made her entrance, he turned slightly, acknowledging her presence. She stood next to him, her clipboard in her left hand under her right arm as she crossed them.

"Have you been to see Rei today?" she asked. Her gaze switched from unit zero to him.

"Yes. She will be ready within 12 days. Much earlier than expected. I wonder what has happened to her to increase her regenerative 's most intriguing"

She said nothing. Rei's apparent increase in cerebral activity might have some connection to this. Knowing Rei's origin, she suspected something along the lines of inherent genetics finally kicking in.

"Shall I begin reactivation sooner than scheduled then? With at least two weeks head start, we might be able to have two Units ready to fight the next angels"

He nodded. "Yes, do that. Seele will need to know just what is necessary to fight these angels. That is my task. I have another conference scheduled in two months time. By then the committee will have questions, and I will have answers for them"

Ritsuko nodded and turned back to leave. As she reached the door, she turned her head half way towards him.

"Do they have to go through this? The children are barely 14, and they're going through so much pain and suffering…" she let the phrase hang in the air, watching him from the corner of her eye.

Gendo Ikari didn't move, not one muscle, until he spoke.

"As much as I want to, I cannot use anyone other than the chosen Children. If there were any other way, I would take it. For that reason, we have begun working on the dummy plug system"

She sighed, and then turned to leave again.

"You also know my son is fighting. And I hate every second of it. I wouldn't have been able to face Yui even if it would've worked. I guess she'd seen that coming, so for now, let us play the parts allotted to us. In time, we will reap our rewards, Ritsuko, but not yet. No, not for quite a while"

She stood still for a few seconds. This confession might get them both killed! But no, there weren't any working devices in this room, not after the incident.

"I will not let Seele make the same mistake they did 15 years ago. And to think it was _my_ idea…"

He fell silent. She took this as the end of their conversation.

Change brought upon those who do not change, what could this mean?

She took another look at her clipboard. The damn anomaly in her blood pattern was making her wonder just _what_ happened in that entry plug.

.

* * *

.

Leaving the bed, Rei walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall over the sink. The sling supported her damaged arm, occasionally slipping further along her cast.

Her forehead was covered with a light bandage, only covering a small amount of her face. Remembering the pain she'd felt in the plug, she felt that more damage had been done than just a simple cut or bruise.

She felt the urge to lift the bandage, to see what had happened. Somehow she felt that leaving it be would be far more sensible, seeing that most doctors knew what they were doing.

After a while of self-absorbed gazing into the mirror, she unclenched her fist and began washing her hand free of blood. As she washed, she noticed that no more blood seeped from her wound. The scab was already forming, the single crescent in the middle of her palm marring the otherwise perfectly smooth alabaster skin of her hand.

As she stared, the nurse tending to her entered and noticed her absence from bed.

"What are you doing out of bed? You have to heal! Don't you know how dangerous that can be?" she said, as she continued to fuss around Rei and managed to hide the occasional haunted glance admirably. Rei complied as she ordered her back to bed, her hand still closed over the cut she'd inflicted upon herself.

.

* * *

.

Morning dawned, the red sun rising upon the slowly wakening city of Tokyo III.

Genteel strands of light caressed the floor, slowly creeping over it to reach the sleeping figures upon the futon, covered by the blanket they shared. Misato's soft snore was the only thing that made any sound at all then, making the scene almost surreal.

Shinji was still naked, his body loosely pressed against her front, his back to her. The yellow shirt she wore covered her, and her left arm lay on his chest, her hand hanging loosely from it. They looked, to most people, like lovers, sharing the bed in peace.

But that is not the case, of course, as Shinji woke up, the sunlight tickling his nose. With a sneeze, he woke both of them, and as she grumbled and turned in her waking state, he began to take in his surroundings.

_Another_ _unfamiliar ceiling. Wait, this isn't my room_! He looked around, and then felt Misato shift behind him. This, understandably, threw him into overdrive as he realized he was in the same bed as she was. To add insult to injury, he noticed a lack of clothing, and squeaked in panic before bolting out the door into his own room.

Meanwhile Misato opened her eyes, noticing a lack of warmth in front of her. Sighing, she got up, rubbing the back of her head.

_Ow. What the_… Then the memories of last evening came back, her face paling ever so slightly. O_h, shit. What was I thinking? _She let herself fall down again, putting both hands over her face. _Well, he was freaking out real bad… _Looking at her alarm, she decided to get up and start breakfast. Thinking it over again, she reveled in the teasing he'd get… after getting over last night's happening.

As she prepared the first meal of the day, (thankfully only toast and some condiments) she battled with her self as to the time he'd get.

She promised herself at least half a day.

"Hey, lover-boy, breakfast's ready!"

Yeah, _right_.

The muffled squeal coming from his room put a grin on her face, the day already set to teasing the hell outta him.

* * *

(:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::)

* * *

**A/N;**

**Well, here goes nuffin'!**

**Umm, what to say, what to say…**

**Thanks for reading this far! I'd give you cookie, but it doesn't fit the usb port…**

**In other news, Lucy has decided to leave me one finger to type this story. So that's my excuse for slow updates. I miss my Thumb. Do you **_**know**_** how hard it is to use a fork without a thumb?**

**Puleaze review. I like hearing what you think of it. Elfen lied may not be as popular as Eva, so that might off some of you, I dunno.**

**One Man Geek Squad preread this. Kudos to him for that!  
**

**Anyway. Treasure your thumbs, and see you soon in the next chapter, Disbelief. **

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V**


	7. Disbelief

Disclaimer;

The fact is, I don't own NGE. I do own a pair of socks, though. I wonder if I could sell them for a million dollars?

* * *

**A/N; Well, that was a bummer. The wait might leave you wanting, I just had some… trouble… typing with one thumb. **

**Anyways, hope this meets some acceptance. I have some definite plans as to where this is going, and all five thousand variations are warring to take over my thumb. **

**And now, without further excuses, I present;

* * *

**

Of Lilim and Lilium

Chapter 7; Disbelief

* * *

.

.

Shinji woke to a beautiful blue morning. The day was hot, as usual, and promised burnt skin without protection from screens or clothes. The room's quiet creaking gave him the impression of a free day of school. However, this was not the case.

It was Saturday, and school was imminent, so he got up and washed, preparing for yet another day at school.

.

* * *

.

Rei stretched her arm. It felt slightly weak, but otherwise completely well. There was still a shadow of pain in her elbow, but soon that would be gone as well.

"So you don't feel anything anymore? No pain, no aches?" doctor Akagi was amazed at the development. Healing in little over three weeks what should have taken at least five to heal even with her elevated healing abilities was quite a feat, and the question of it's origins were, to her mind, quite obvious.

"There is a slight pain in my elbow, however only if I stretch it at such an intense way" Rei answered, her mind set on getting rid of the cast.

Akagi made some notes on her laptop, then turned to her. "Well, that's it for now. Tell me if anything happens, and don't hit it on anything" as she gathered her notes, she suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, Rei, before I forget it, you're having another reactivation test this afternoon, so you'll have to come in early. Tell Shinji to come in at three thirty today, and we'll let the teacher know as well.

"Yes" she said, gathering herself and exiting without another word.

.

* * *

.

Shinji sat down, his ears still enjoying the somber music emitted from his SDAT. Letting his head be supported on his right hand, he dozed the minutes away until class started.

Meanwhile, a certain Military Otaku was making his own private war movie, adding unconvincing (yet to him utterly realistic) sound effects of a VTOL craft kicking the stuffing out of an unidentified target off-screen. Several, in fact, as he changed directions the death-dealer was shooting in.

"Will you stop that goddamned shit, man? It's really embarrassing for someone at your age doing that!" the sportswear-clad boy sitting behind him said with both his hands planted firmly on the table in order to suppress the urge to deck him right here.

The bespectacled kid jumped as he saw his friend in that state. He almost dropped his model. Almost.

"What's got you in such a foul mood, Touji? Has it got something to do with the battle last week?"

"Just shut the fuck up, Aida, it's none of your business"

Aida looked taken aback. He turned the camera off, packing it away. He turned forwards and rested his head on his own hand. Then something occurred to him.

"Hey, you know, that transfer student? Maybe he's got something to do with it. He transferred in just after the robot thing. I wonder…"

He turned back to Touji.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What transfer?"

"The kid over there" he pointed, shoving his glasses further up his nose. "I'm beginning to think he might have _some_ connection to it…"

Touji just stared at his friend. _Why the hell do I hang out with this dope?_

_Because he can hack into every porn site known to man. _

Instantly, his doubt evaporated like the morning mist.

He leaned back, crossing his hands behind his back. After a while, he turned to his companion. You know that robot battle? My sister got involved with it…"

"NO WAY! Is she the pilot? Did she have to ta-"

He was cut off as Touji grabbed him by the scruff and pulled his face close to his own. Barely, he contained his rage, but the anger showed in his voice quite obviously. "No, you fucking moron! She got hurt, okay? That stupid robot thing damaged one of the shelters and she got caught by a piece of roof…" he couldn't keep talking anymore. He just glared at Kensuke, not four inches from his face.

"…shit, man, I never heard. I'm really sorry about your sister. Man, just… please let me down again, okay?" he waved his arms out at the sides, trying to avoid falling on the jock.

Touji held him for a few moments, then threw him back down into the stool. Crossing his arms, he leant back, still looking at Aida. "Sooner or later you have to learn that all this war stuff you're so fucking hell bent after? It kills people"

With that said, he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down completely.

Kensuke had enough knowledge to back off now, as he'd learned that disturbing him now would cost him… something. And no, it' wasn't just a "pack of peas" kind of payment. More like a "hospital visit" kind of thing.

Unnoticed to the two boys, a small collection of girls had overheard their argument. And one particular one was ever so curious.

The Teacher entered, and the class representative took the usual greeting by standbowsitting the class before the sensei. He began to drabble on, and as usual, the class found its own way of coping. After nearly an hour of verbal diarrhea, the aforementioned girl took advantage of the teacher's unyouthful hearing and logged onto the classes' IM service. She did it over open channel, as she doubted the new kid had an account yet.

Shinji listened to the teacher with only half an ear. What drew his attention was Ayanami's absence from school. He knew that they both had a sync test today, but that was still a comfortable five hours away.

_Maybe she got called in for something else?_

He wondered what it could be…

.

* * *

.

"Rei, we're about to begin. Are you ready?" the voice of Dr. Akagi broke the humming silence of the plug, and the LCL was giving it an eerie, underwater effect. It felt… strange.

However, this was anything but unusual; her tests had always been like this. She found no obvious reason to be nervous. But she was.

"Yes" was her answer, but no was her inner thought. She couldn't, however, betray this weakness. Mankind relied upon her ability to pilot, and this was the only way to achieve that status of worth. After all, this was what she was created for.

"Begin startup sequence…"

The technical banter washed over her, the words already comfortably memorized after hearing them so often before.

Now, however…

She had two souls in one body.

She suspected that her blacking out had enabled Lucy to surface, and trigger the Evangelion into berserker mode.

It had activated, and she had synced with its soul. Then, something had happened. Lucy was brought into her, and the Eva had rampaged in the cage.

Would the same occur again?

The list was being ticked off, slowly reaching absolute borderline. Soon, she would sync. Soon, all would be clear. Worthy, or worthless?

The borderline was reached, and the mental blocks to the Eva's mind were removed, allowing her to reach out to it. She searched for something, anything.

A moment passed.

Then…

_Confusion. _

_Query!_

_I bear you no harm,_ she projected

_Uncertainty, distrust!_

Her mind recognized the mental patterns. These were emotions. Like the soul inhabiting her mind, these emotions were similar and recognizable to her now.

She let the mind probe, holding herself open to its genteel curiosity…

"Absolute borderline reached! She's synced… wow… 65 percent and holding!"

The voice cut into Rei's thoughts and confirmed her hopes. All was well. Now, she began to go over the list of calibration moves she had to absolve to firmly set the Evangelion in motion.

"Beginning interlock sequence one through one-fifty-four"

.

* * *

.

_Those clouds look like an elephant herd…._

_I wonder what happened to Rei…_

And so, his mind wandered. Climbing the heights of philosophy, he wondered if a tree made a sound if no one was there to hear it. Finding the notion too hard to ponder longer than fifteen seconds, he took upon himself the ever so faithful line, _When is this hour going to end?_

He pondered on the nature of time, a conspiracy involving his father, the teacher and a time vortex, and how so little time could stretch into such an eternity for him.

Then, the message system on his laptop blinked, announcing an open message.

It read; ARE YOU THE PILOT OF THAT ROBOT?

Several others were roused from their slumber and noticed the open questionnaire.

Well, it had to be addressed to him. Even he'd had made a connection to his appearance barely after the battle.

He hesitated. Looked around. And spotted a small group of girls sitting at one table. Waving at him. And.. smiling…

One was typing again. Another message popped up, a simpled down version of before. PILOT; Y/N?

A fleeting thought about state secrecy paused him for a few seconds. Then he remembered Misato's words on the matter...

* * *

"_You can't tell them about the MAGI's operating parameters, the building of the EVAs, vital information and all the other things you don't know about"_

_Misato stared at her erstwhile collage friend. _

"_So basically he can tell them everything he knows?" she asked_

"_Yes. But be careful, some might want to get in yours skin for that…"_

_Misato waved her hands dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, but think of the benefits! Man, he'll be beating girls off with a stick as soon as he lets the cat out of the bag. Boy, you have one hell of a good chance to get lammpfff-"Ritsuko's hand of sanity saved Shinji from further embarrassment by clamping down on Misato's mouth. She sighed as Misato tried vainly to remove it. _

"_Just don't get into trouble with it, okay? Now run along, I have a patient to examine. Misato, when was your last cavity search?"_

_Misato paled. Ritsuko had been happy all day then, and her arse felt like hell for a whole day. _

_Shinji walked out, completely puzzled at the two women's talk. _

_

* * *

_

Bottom left corner of the typing block. Then enter…

Clattering stools, urgently asked questions, hesitant answers as well as an irate Class Rep. All these things went completely unnoticed as the teacher stood facing away out the window. His rant never stopped, until the gong sounded. More by memory than actually hearing, he dismissed the class and made his way along to the teacher's refuge from the hell that was School. The coffee machine never felt more affection anywhere else on the planet apart from this room, and its hallowed liquid was dispensed among the barely sane people that were known as teachers.

Touji Suzahara, sitting stunned at his desk, couldn't believe what he was witnessing. There in front of him was the cause of his utter devastation. Stung by anger, he slowly got up from his seat, walked over to the door, and left. He barely suppressed the temptation to kick the asshole to bits as he passed the crowd gathered around him. The smug SOB was answering questions coming from all around him, oblivious to the retribution in store for him.

_Soon, you bastard, soon _He thought.

Kensuke was busy noting the facts as Touji left, too engrossed to think about him at the moment.

Of course, he had to ask him something, and turned to face an empty seat where he was supposed to be.

_Oh dear_ He gulped, and closed his laptop, making his way out to find his friend and cool him off before something bad happened.

.

* * *

.

"Hey new kid!"

Shinji turned, pulling the ear plug out from his left ear. What he saw was something he could never understand. At least not yet.

"Think you're so good, huh? Fuckin' savior of the world, blah blah blah…"

He took a step back, scared of the boy advancing slowly towards him.

"What the fuck were you thinking! You…" Shinji dropped all pretenses and ran, making his way to the exit with all haste. But, unlike the anger-fuelled jock, he was in no condition to outrun a cat, let alone anyone else.

After about five seconds, Touji Suzahara tackled the luckless Eva pilot to the ground, sending his face into a frolicking asphalt kiss. Before he could get his wits together, he was turned around and held by the scruff of his neck. The jock drew a fist back and delivered a hard blow to the face, cracking his nose and sending him flying to the pavement once more.

Kensuke came running, then slowed down as he saw what was going on. He knew what Touji could be like. After all, he'd been subject to quite a few outbursts himself. Best thing to do was take it and say nothing.

Unfortunately, Shinji didn't know this, and after uttering the words "I didn't even have a choice", he made another, briefly intense, contact with Touji's avenging fist.

Of course, after getting your head beaten twice by him, plus the knocks he'd gotten after their brief liaison, he could only guess what the fuzzy blurr was trying to tell him. Shinji felt the dizziness slowly drag him to unconsciousness. But not entirely.

"I didn't have a choice…"

*Oh fuck…* Kensuke could only watch as Touji picked him up and gave him another punch.

Shinji felt the fist knock him back to the floor, giving him one crystal clear second before he drifted off to unconsciousness.

*Why me?* Darkness enveloped him and plunged him into oblivion.

.

* * *

.

Slowly, she began to move. Her left arm rose, reaching out to the lightened panel. The hand spread it's fingers and pressed a flat palm against the pad, pressing it back into the wall as it clicked into place.

"Panel reinserted. Pressure levels normal. Calibration 85 percent. Very good, Rei. Now let's…" The doctor was interrupted by the blaring of alarms. Angel!

Staring over the terminals at the commander, she looked for confirmation in his eyes. Would he sortie with his precious surrogate daughter or…

"Shut down unit zero. Contact third child and sortie with unit one" He turned as she ordered the preparation of the purple behemoth. As she hurried to the main command center, she couldn't suppress the shudder as she saw the look in his eyes just before he turned.

_Are we doing the right thing? _She shunted the thoughts back as she entered the deck, just as Misato did. She nodded in recognition and instantly demanded a status report.

"Third child has just woken in recovery. He's in no condition to pilot!" came the shrill voice of Maya Ibuki.

Misato nearly broke her neck as she flung her head around to look at her. "WHAT!"

The lieutenant drew back in shock as the captain loomed over her.

"Ah…he..he g-got hit by oneofhisclassmatesI'msorrysorrysorry-"

Katsuragi threw a look at her friend, who shrugged and turned to the telephone connecting her with the commander privately. After a few heated exchanges, she set the phone down and looked directly at Misato.

"Send Rei out in unit zero. She's had the reactivation test and has been calibrated enough to fight. She's on standby in cage six"

Misato nodded. "Move unit 00 to launch pad sixty two! I want her to engage as soon as possible, outside city limits" She turned to the com window linking her to Rei. "Rei, there'll be a pallet rifle waiting for you topside. Remember, Spread your AT field as soon as you reach the surface. As soon as you see it, reach out to neutralize the Angel's own Field before you can harm the Angel. You got that?"

"Yes"

"Good. Launch EVA!"

.

* * *

.

Rei reached the surface and collected the rifle from the support building. She let the targeting system initiate alignment to her HUD, the haircross appearing in the screen, and set out to find the angel coming from the ocean. The crab like angel advanced slowly, apparently undeterred by the presence of the EVA. She gripped the butterfly controls a bit harder and prepared herself for combat.

The fourth angel came to a gliding stop, just five hundred meters away from her. It remained inert, seemingly contemplating it's next move...

"Angel five hundred meters and holding"

_Damn. Just out of range for an AT field_! Misato thought. She began to take in a deep breath, just as the angel began to move…

.

* * *

.

_Lucy felt power. Seemingly unlimited, abundant power. She reached out to it, drawing on it like a flower does from the sun. _

_She began to focus, her thoughts becoming clearer. And she wanted to get out…_

_

* * *

_

Rei felt the second soul in her stir. This was most vexing. A more inconvenient moment could not have come to pass, as the red Angel began its slow advance towards her. So now she was fighting two fronts, inside and out.

_Concentrate on the task before you. Stay focused on it; do not let anything distract you._

Fine words. Very fine and honorable words. But words conceived without knowledge of a second soul inhabiting her body and mind.

The angel was near now. And so was Lucy. She felt her begin to push her aside…

* * *

_Finally, I see a way out. _

_She began to see things, hear things again. _

_What the hell-_

_Pain lanced through her body, and she was flung back as she relented the struggle…_

_

* * *

_

**~\/~**

_

* * *

_

**A/N: (again)**

**How do I plead?**

**Guilty! Of nothing other than doing my damndest to make this as good as possible. Have patience, I'm working real hard on this one!**

**And…. Reviews would help, ifyaknowwaddImean…**

**Wyrken; you sly SOB, any chance that you wanna preread? Get an account, then we'll talk about it…**

**Dylanredefined; Just you wait. Just you wait….**

**One man geek squad has been kidnapped by Lucy. I might need someone to preread my tale, so if you're really really really really realy really interested, Pm me. PLEASE!**

**Oh, and Vote AYE or NAY on my Poll. Really wondering if you wanna hear my interpretation of it…**

**Well, I leave you in best of health. **

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V**


	8. Matters of trust

**A/N; And now we enter the second battle! Enjoy. **

Disclaimer; I do not own Jack. Nor Eva.

* * *

Of Lilm and Lilium.

Chapter 8; Matters of trust

* * *

.

The startled cry of surprise shook her out of the reverie. Rei was flung into a mountainside by the Angel's powerful lashes. Her inner turmoil was broken, the shock causing Lucy's mind to stop the ascension.

"Rei! Get up! You have to get back here, now!"

She confirmed the received order, retreating to the next platform and crouching low to avoid visual contact to the angel. Just as she glanced back, she spotted two boys, about her age, staring at her Eva.

"Have sighted two civilians. Requesting retrieval to collect them ASAP"

Misato watched the angel's form draw closer to her charge, the boys directly in it's path.

They had two minutes, max, before it converged on them.

"Negative. You'll have to take them with you. Hold your orders and eject. Collect the civilians and retreat to base"

Rei glanced at her power reserves. 4:12 read the large indicator. More than enough to retreat and recover the two civilians. Staying low, she piloted her Eva towards the boys, managing to identify them quickly.

"Suzahara Touji and Aida Kensuke. Get inside the plug now!"

Misato's voice boomed over the mountainside as she ordered the two kids into the Eva. Kensuke and Touji didn't need a second invitation as they sprinted up the ladder to safety. Unfortunately, it's hard to climb a ladder with a camera held in your hands. Of course, he dropped the damn thing, and for once, completely ignored the loss in favor to save his own skin.

Meanwhile, in central dogma;

Misato swung to Ibuki. "What's the status of the third Child?"

He's awake, ma'am, but-"

"Good. Put him in unit 01, hold him on standby. If this gets any more fucked up than now, I want him in battle as soon as humanly possible!"

Maya opened her mouth to say something, but got cut short as Misato answered her question before she even asked.

"Yes, I know he's banged up. But we need him, and as sorry as I am, saving mankind comes before a hurt face. We all have to make sacrifices, Ibuki"

Maya nodded, still not happy, but carried out her orders anyway.

Misato turned back to the screen just in time to witness the fourth angel's energy whips lance out to Unit 00, still unprotected by her AT field.

She gasped and shouted a warning…

.

* * *

.

Rei was waiting for the two to get in when she heard the two splashes as they entered her plug. As soon as their shocked voices began to comment, she reinserted and resynced-

PAIN!

Gasping, she synced just in time to see two purple streaks of light penetrate her body armor at her shoulders, flinging her up and away to land in the valley on the other side of the mountain. The whips curled behind her and the angel pulled itself to its stricken enemy. The two boys behind her screamed in pain and shock as they were submitted to forced synchronization. Thankfully, her sync rate was lowered to 41.3 percent; otherwise the pain would have been much, much worse. Gritting her teeth, she engaged the prog knife and tried to hack the whips off. The blade connected and passed through the whips with hissing sparks, then molten alloys as the energy severed the blade in two.

.

* * *

.

Shinji was in his plug suit, syncing with the Eva. As soon as he finished, he drew up the comm. Line with central dogma, connecting with the Operations Director.

"I'm ready…"

His chin ached horribly, and the hasty bandage on his head covered the wound on the back of his head. He hurt, but was still forced into this hellish machine. Forced to experience pain.

Forced to watch Rei's Eva being thrown over the mountain like a stuffed teddy bear.

Misato panicked for just a second when Rei lost her knife to the whip's energy. She drew upon the only option she had left.

"Launch Eva 01!"

Gendo's eyebrow twitched slightly, and no one noticed the gesture that betrayed his heavily locked down feelings to this battle.

Kozo however caught every detail, however small, and leaned down to ask

"Are you sure you want to let her use 01?"

Gendo said nothing, but his aura came over pretty clear, at least to his second in command.

Fuyutsuki straightened up again.

"For now, let her prove her ability to adapt to this situation. Consequences will be taken care of as soon as the battle is over. For now, I will trust my choice in her competence"

Kozo raised an eyebrow at him, slightly surprised at the words.

.

* * *

.

Touji felt the pain lance through him as Rei, the most passive and enigmatic girl he knew, tried to fend off the oncoming monster with her bare hands.

Misato's voice penetrated only weakly, but the words were unmistakable.

"Rei! Retreat! Get the hell out of there!"

The Angel had not let go of her, and as much as she wanted, she couldn't move to her orders.

"I-I can-"

Then a purple flash told her that one whiplash had drawn out, and was speeding towards her, aimed at her chest. Just in time, she did the only thing left to her and threw her Eva into maximum gain mode, pulling up her AT field as strong as possible. The orange dials turned red, from 2:14 to 0:27.

The whip clashed at contact, and the whip buried in her shoulder broke off at the field's barrier.

She fell back, rolling a few times as she fell down the slope. Thinking quickly, she reverted to maximum operational mode, giving her 1 minute and 10 seconds to get to the next entry platform. There was just enough time.

Then she was knocked over by the angel's whip. Falling to the ground, she pulled up her AT field, but watched in shock as it bared only a few seconds of resistance until it was worn away by the angel's own field, now only three hundred meters away. She did the only thing she could rationally do, and pulled her Eva into Max gain mode once more

14 seconds to operational limit.

.

* * *

.

Shinji was jettisoned to the surface, the G-forces pressing him down as he focused on the job before him.

"Shinji! Get Rei out of there!"

Misato's words reverberated around the plug as he broke surface

Then he spotted the red angel.

Lying underneath it, unit 00.

The at field barely holding back the whips, worming their way towards her eva…

He didn't bother to eject his socket. He just ran full tilt towards the stricken unit, screaming all the way.

"Shinji! Your umbilical-"

He felt it run taught, then pull him over backwards, and snap off as he landed. The rifle in his hands was flung half a kilometer towards his target, gashing the landscape with a deep, long scar.

He grunted and collected himself, forcing his Eva to get up, then ran full tilt into the fray, the gun completely forgotten. Unbeknownst to him, his Eva was triggered into max gain mode, giving him less than sixty seconds of time to save Rei, and to save humanity.

.

* * *

.

4 seconds.

Her teeth were clenched, her hands gripping the butterfly controls, the pain she felt not allowed to pass beyond herself.

The two boys however did not share the discipline she had, and screamed their lungs out.

2 seconds.

_Help me!_ She thought vainly. "Someone help me, please…"

A scream through the comm. System. Shinji's scream of anger.

She saw the purple Eva crash into her opponent, pulling it off her and away to the right…

0 seconds. Operational limit reached.

The pain, the strain of synchronization, light, sound and touch folded into her, leaving her and the two children alone in darkness. The emergency power supply kept the plug dimly illuminated, waiting for her to disconnect and extract herself if needed.

Her shallow breath mingled with that of the boys. Then she uttered a single word.

"Shinji…"

.

* * *

.

"Shinji! What are you doing!"

Misato kept trying, vainly to get his attention. The angel flung it's whip out at him, penetrating his Eva as he engaged his prog knife. He screamed in pain and fury, catching the other whip in his hands and plunging the knife into the core with all his might.

"JUST DIE ALREADY!"

23 seconds.

The angel slashed its other whip out of his hand, throwing him off itself. He hit the ground with his back, the whip pushing him down into the ground.

18 seconds.

He looked up, only to see the other whip lashing towards him. It went through his armor like it wasn't there. He screamed in pain and clutched at his stomach. Grunting, he looked up again, pain and anger in his eyes.

10 seconds.

Grasping the superheating whips, he pulled the angel closer, and flung his head at the beast, but it was too far away.

7 seconds.

Adjusting his hold, he pulled once more and flung his Eva's foot out at the knife still buried in it's core

3 seconds.

2

1

The angel's core split, then exploded in blood as it's AT field fell.

The plug went dark, all he could hear was his own breathing. The plug shuddered and rolled, indicating the Eva falling to its side as the leg no was no longer resisted by the angel's core.

Silently, he wept, still holding his stomach as the ghost pain of a 66 percent sync ration hit him once more.

.

* * *

Misato felt split. Anger at Shinji. Relief for Rei. Anger because his blatant and stupid rush at the angel. Relief at Rei's subsequent rescue.

"Get them out of there. Send retrieval to get both pilots to recovery. Hurry!"

She then began organizing the cleanup. Retrieving the Evas was a messy job, especially out in the field. That job was retrieval's problem. Collecting the gun and knife fragments, as well as samples of the angels, was her piece of the cake, and no easy one at that.

"Oh and Maya? Send the Third Child to break room seventeen as soon as he is released. Inform me as soon as he's out"

Maya nodded. "Yes ma'am"

.

* * *

.

"What the _hell_ was _that_!"

Shinji flinched, almost dropping his soda as the Purple haired woman flung the door open to the room. She strode up to him as he got up, backing away to the wall. She grabbed his collar and pressed him to the wall.

"You do _know_ that I'm your commanding officer?"

He stared at her face, contorted in anger, as she waited for an answer from him.

"Y-yes!" he squeaked, knowing full well what may lie in store for him.

"Then why the _fuck_ did you ignore my orders, Pilot!"

He knew he should be sorry. And he was, in a way. But…

"Rei was in danger, and the-"

"This isn't just about the pilots, god damn it!" she shouted at his face. "If you lose all your weapons, you're going to die, understand?"

He began to feel something akin to anger boil up.

"So? We won, didn't we! Isn't that enough?"

She pulled a hand back, ready to smack some _goddamn sense into this kid-_

He saw the swing, and turned away, angrily awaiting his punishment. So even she saw him as a tool. Just a convenient tool to fill a place for her.

_Why the hell didn't I see this coming?_

Misato got hold of herself just in time. Shakily, she let go and pointed outside. "go home, Shinji. We'll talk about this later on. I've got work to do"

He shuffled away from her and passed her shaking form rooted to the spot.

Misato heard the door click shut as he left.

_Too harsh, by far…_

_Now what?_

_Idiot_

SLAP

"Idiot"

The red mark began to flare where she'd struck herself with the hand intended for him. She just hoped that he'd see reason for her actions.

_Fuck, he's fourteen! How the hell should he be able to understand self sacrifice at that age!_

She hit the wall once with her fist, then left the room for the cleanup paperwork.

* * *

**~/\~**

* * *

**And so the chapter ends. Things will change now, slowly at first, but there will be surprises in the next chapter and those following. **

**No beta reader was harmed in the production of this work. If you think you're up to it, Pm me please!**

**Any way, hope you enjoyed the story. **

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V**


	9. Fall from Darkness

**Obviously, my tale leaves you unable to review. For that, I apologize. I'll be working on it, promise!**

Disclaimer; I don't own Jack. Or Eva.

* * *

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**Chapter 9; Fall from Darkness**

**

* * *

**

**~\/~**

**

* * *

**

Shinji slowly made his way home.

_Why can't I do anything right by anyone? I killed that angel! I saved Ayanami! What more could they possibly want?_

He sat and waited for the train that would get him home, and held his face in his hands. The soft music ringing in his ears as the SDAT played the soft lyrics of Lilium. Matching his mood, the sad notes crept over him as the rain began to fall.

.

* * *

.

Rei Ayanami. First Child, Pilot of Evangelion Unit 00. In expectance to protocol, she was situated in the sterile surgery of Ritsuko Akagi. In order to be medically assisted after Combat action.

Severe pain, in her shoulder, had wavered and died almost an hour after deactivation. No ghost injuries or burn marks indicated the penetration of the Angel's Lashes. The good doctor was slightly disappointed, but still very happy to see her well and healthy.

"Well, there's nothing you need anymore, so you're free to go!"

She hid her smile as the enigmatic girl tilted her head ever so slightly to the right. After a few seconds, she spoke softly, "I was not aware that I was in detention. What am I charged with?"

Ritsuko sighed. Ikari was a caring person, in hi own way, but some things should be done like normal. Bringing up a child in the confines of protocol and NERV, was NOT one of them.

"I meant that you can go home now, Rei. Good night. "

She turned to her laptop, opening the tech support messages she'd received after the assessment of the two Eva's functionality.

.

* * *

.

_My wounds heal at an accelerated rate than usual… how strange. _

She stared at the reflection in the shop's window. The light was fading, the sun tinted red in the warm evening sky. Letting her hand travel up to her face, she pinched a bang of hair drooping over her cheek. Rubbing the hair between her fingertips, she stared into the red orbs of her mirror image, glowing in the red light of the sun.

_Red. The color I hate…._

She caught herself, releasing the strands of hair and turning away from the window. Slightly confused, she trecked home to her apartment.

_I have been distracted once again. Why is my concentration so lax lately?_

_.

* * *

_

_.  
_

Arriving at her door, she pushed it open, entering the darkened room after removing her shoes. The broken A/C still only managed to move stifling, humid air in as she disrobed and went for a shower.

The warm water cascaded down her frame, washing the very last traces of LCL out of her hair and off her body. After all, LCL was organic, and leaving it on her was like inviting a mould to take residency in her apartment.

Not that she'd invited the spreading black patch in the living room corner behind her Fridge. Nor did she know of it's existence. Yet.

As she washed her hair, she felt a slight difference in her skull. A bump, ever so tiny, caught her attention.

_Maybe bruised tissue. I do not recall hitting my head however. So wha-_

Her mind was suddenly frozen, as pain began to creep from the back of her head to her forehead, spreading like wildfire.

Groaning softly in pain, she clutched her forehead. The pain increased, forcing her to her knees.

_An aftereffect of the battle?_

She had time to think just that as the darkness overcame her, releasing her from the terrible pain.

.

* * *

.

Shinji stared at the reflection on the carridge window. The darkening night sky made him realize just how late it was, and then it enetered his mind that he just didn't really care anymore. What good was someone that gave his all, just to be rejected like he was something unholy, something disgusting?

No, he was done with NERV, his father, Misato… himself.

_No one likes me. Not really, anyway. _

_I hate this place…_

_.

* * *

_

_.  
_

"What the _fuck_ do you mean by lost him!"

Wincing slightly at captain katsuragi's choice of words, Maya Ibuki, speedily set down both cups of coffee she'd gotten for the two. Risuko was sitting in her chair, her head held in her hands ash she listened to Misato's "Negotiations" with the head of Shinji's security detail.

"Look, I don't care if you're short staffed- No, I don't. I- yes. Yes…. _Yes….._ He's a goddamn kid, for god's fucked up sense of humor! Get your asses moving and _find _him, or I'll get off my job and _find_ you!"

With these tactile words, she flung the phone into the opposite wall. Crossing her arms, she stared at the wall for a minute in silence. Ritsuko had leaned back and propped her head up on her fist, looking at the aggravated Purple haired amazon.

Misato glared at the wall.

Ritsuko stared at Misato.

Glare.

Stare.

Silence.

Stuffy, uncomfortable silence.

Heavy, omin-

"Shut up, Ritsuko!"

Akagi was quite amazed at two things. One, the volume at which the woman was capable of speaking at, and two; she had actually _just_ thought of thinking of something to say.

Raising her hands defensively, she swiveled her chair round to face the screen, taking up where she had left off from.

.

* * *

.

Looking up from where he sat shinji noticed that the train had stopped. No one was in sight and the sounds of a city washed over him as he pulled off his earphones.

The led screen proclaimed that the train had reached it's final destination and was going to be taken off the circuit line. He grabbed his bag and exited the train, not sure where to go now. He reached an intercision and just took the left turn, oddly wondering what he would have come to face if he'd taken the right turn, in more ways than one.

.

* * *

.

"_So, we are here again"_

_Lucy's mind registered the thought, a clear light shining through thte mess of memories and thoughts that fogged her. It vanished as soon as it appeared. _

"_What are you?"_

_She felt llike being subject to a icy cold shower. _

_I am alone…._

"_You are not alone. I am here, thus we are two individuals in one place. This does not constitute solitude. Your questions and statements are… illogical"_

_The mind that was Lucy paused, slightly taken aback. How could you not understand?_

"_Understand what?"_

_Loneliness…_

"_I am quite used to solitude. I have spent most of my recent life in solitude. I have learned much about myself and others that way"_

_Lucy couldn't think of anything for quite a while. _

_There are several levels of solitude. Soitude of the body. Solitude of the mind. Solitude of the heart…_

"_I do not understand"_

_How old are you?_

"…_my age is classified, as well as my date of birth…"_

_Irritation. _

"_what do these… thought patterns mean?_

_Thought patterns?_

"_These.. emotions. I am unfamiliar in using them. Can you… classify them?"_

_classify emotions?_

"_Yes"_

_I… can't…_

_Confusion, uncertainty. _

"_some are familiar, like these.."_

_Panic, expectance. Accomplishment, failure. _

_Lucy felt the emotions slide by, barely hinting at the meanings. It felt like experiencing them, but extremely weakly. Focusing on the emotions, she let the most potent one drive all the insanity away. _

_ANGER_

_Rei felt the onwash of rage, so overwhelming that it forced her mind into a freeze. _

_ANGER_

_It grew, spreading like molten metal along the tendrils of her mind, like white noise drowning out all communication to her centre. _

_ANGER!_

_The numbness took her, and she felt no more…_

_.

* * *

_

_.  
_

Cold.

She felt cold. That was her first thought as she drew a breath into her lungs.

Wet…

She coughed, expelling the water in her lungs, the shower making it almost impossible from where she lay to take a breath without taking on water coming from above. She turned her head, but the spread was too large. She felt like slowly drowning….

_Can't breath… can't breath!_

_I'm going to drown!_

She coughed and spluttered, then drew an arm up and pushed herself up, towards the shower wall. Managing to choke out most of the water, she held herself pressed against the wall, taking the air in like the life-giving essence it was.

Eventually, her breathing returned to normal. She drew herself up to embrace her legs, the cold water still washing over them, and considered the state she was in right now.

.

* * *

.

Shinji looked over the covers of his make-shift cardboard bed. He winced at the glaring, flashing lights that lightened up the darkness. He sighed, knowing that even with his earphones, he would not be able to relax and sleep.

As he picked himself up, he caught a flash of pink in the corner of his eye….

He snapped his head around, to stare into the eyes of a girl, not five feet away from him. She had a school uniform on, native to Tokyo III's own. Just like the one he'd seen before…

She had her eyes focused slightly elsewhere, off to his right and further behind him. Her expression was neutral, void of language.

Uncertain, he frowned and turned to see what she was looking at…

She turned her gaze towards him, and just for a split second, held it there only to vanish as he turned back.

He looked around, trying to find the girl, but found only the lonely street to comfort him.

_I must be going insane! I'm seeing things…._

_Who was that, anyway? She looks like someone I know…_

Shrugging, he picked up his backpack and headed out of town.

_Where to go?_

He just kept going forwards, not knowing destination or duration of his wanderings.

.

* * *

.

After a short walk, he saw roadblocks closing off a road to the outskirts of the city. Not exactly sure why, he decided to follow the path regardless of knowledge.

Lucy gathered herself up to the urge to get out of the cold shower. As she rose, she almost fell over. Holding on to the wall beside her, she managed to drag herself out to the living room, where she found a bed waiting for her. She turned left, and noticed a highly disregarded kitchen. Her stomach almost turned in her gut as she saw what lurked beneath a pair of plates…

Opeing the fridge, all she saw was some instant meals. Not knowing anything else than Kohta's and Yuki's cooking, she had no idea what to do with it. Grabbing one, she just tore it open and shoveled the cold food into herself.

_God, I'm pathetic…_

She paused, regarding her fingers, covered in cold sauce and bits of rice.

_Cold, naked, eating like an animal… that's all I'll ever be…_

She stared at her hand for a few seconds, then fury burned her mind with intensety not matched for a long time.

Screaming, she hurled the half-eaten dish into the wall, splattering it with rice and sauce. Still screaming, she tore at her hair, flinging herself back into the wall behind her.

Slightly dazed by the impact, she slid down the cold stone, and her screams turned into full blown sobs of loss and anguish.

_Where do I go from here? What will the world do to me here?_

_+They will try to do the same as in your home. They will try to kill you, Lucy+_

She looked up, left, then right, tear-streaked eyes looking for the source of the words.

"Wh- where are you?"

She struggled up, steadying herself against the wall.

_+I am here, right beside you+_

"What! I can't see you! Show yourself, damnit!"

_+You do not see me, because I am locked inside. We are of one body, but of two minds apparently+_

It took a while for that to sink in.

"You mean… you're Rei? Rei Ayanami? The one who saved me?"

_Yes. And you are now in possession of control of my vessel. Please return it to me, I have business to do with it+_

"How come you can talk to me if you can't take control of your body back?"

_+… That is a question I hoped you could answer. I am… at loss as to how you gained that capability. However, unlike you, I can communicate to you directly. This is both… vexing and interesting at the same time.+_

Lucy stared at her hands. Still covered in food, they were pale in comparison to her old ones. Then she remembered something.

Getting up, she managed to pull herself in front of the mirror on the wall. She was expecting it, but what she saw was more than she had thought.

Blue hair, cut short and tomboyish, hung in unkempt strands from her head. Pale skin enhanced the unnatural blue hair, on her head as well as her eyebrows. Softer, more oval features replaced her round, hardened face. The eyes were slightly deeper red, and her overall height was reduced by a few inches.

"How… old are you?"

_+I am not quite sure. My file at doctor Akagi's office states that my age is fourteen years. However I have no date of birth+_

"So that's two years… younger. I'm two years younger. I… i… don't know…"

She felt the weight of her situation fall on her shoulders then. Not that she had no idea what she was into, but more like finally realizing that there was no way back.

_I was shot, for fucks sake!_

_.

* * *

_

_.  
_

He reached a hole in the ground. Around him lay the ruins of a house, with construction machinery parked in odd alleys. He knew exactly what they were from, and he felt the memories well up from the back of his mind.

Pain, fear and loneliness…

All the feelings he hated, fighting an enemy he had no understanding of, no knowledge of to fight.

He stood there, looking up the face of a half-caved in building. The building his Eva had landed on in the initial minutes of the fight.

_All that pain and suffering… for nothing!_

"Why…Why _me_! Of all the people on the world, why _me_!"

He scremed into the night, falling to his knees in frustration and anger.

After a few minutes of silent tears, he picked up his pack and began to walk. Away from this pain. Away from this fear.

Towards lonliness…

.

* * *

.

"All right. They found him. Only due to chance, admittedly, but they found him. Shall they collect him now?"

Ritsuko handed the report to the captain. With a sigh, she took it, read through it quickly, and then flung it onto the floor.

"At leas he's not in any danger, yet…." Misato ran a hand through her hair, sighing in relief. Wlaking to an fro in the small office, she considered her options.

_I guess he needs some time alone right now. I know I would… _

"Just keep me updated to his whereabouts and make sure he doesn't get hurt. I guess he can have a few hours of alone time"

Ritsuko snorted, then turned back to her laptop. "You sure are a great guardian, Misato…"

The raven haired woman crossed her arms and frowned at her friend.

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"well, you are in charge of his well being. Mentally and physically. That is what _guardians are there for_"

Misato balled her fists and shouted "well I didn't _choose_ the job, you know!"

"Giving up already?"

Slightly startled, Misato huffed and turned away from her. "Hell no. You just wait and see! I just wish he wasn't so…"

She deflated slightly as she thought of him.

"Like father, like son.."

She almost missed the half-whisper. Turning back, she looked at Ritsuko questioningly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ritsuko turned around, sighing, and rested her head on her hand.

"Well, as you may have noticed, the two of them don't get along like a ouse on fire. Both are quite antisocial, and both like to keep themselves to themselves. Has he found any friends in school yet?"

Misato shook her head.

"Have you ever heard of Hedgehog's dilemma?"

"Those small spiky things?"

"Yeah, them. No matter how close they _want_ to be, the always manage to hurt each other"

"But he hasn't got a coat of hard hair!"

"Not physically, no. but you might find that he doesn't like to open up by himself a lot. And that"

She pointed to the small pile of paper on the floor

"-is the result of it. I hope you understand that, Misato. Both he and the commander are very distant people. I hope you might be able to bring him out oh his shell a bit at least, being an all out kind of person-"

"Hey! I am _not_ all out, Rits!"

She chuckled. "I beg to differ, captain. Anyway, I have to get the staff moving. Shinji isn't waiting for us, you know. "

Misato nodded and headed back to her own office.

_Maybe it's a good thing he did run away this time. I don't think I could have handled him right now. _

_.

* * *

_

_.  
_

"So… you have to take these pills every day?"

_+Yes. They.. keep my vessel from deteriorating.+_

"Deterioating?"

+my Vessel is unstable. I require artificial additives to maintain functioning metabolicism. My vessel would... cease to function after prolonged absence of these medications+

She stared at the small red and white capsule in her hands. "So you couldn't live without them… Right?"

_+No. my vessel would deteriorate within two weeks. As you know, I am… not human enough to survive on my own. So your plans of escape are… not a final solution+_

Lucy felt the realization dawn on her. If she ran, she would die eventually. If she stayed, she would probably be either subjected to experimentation or disposed of. Not good for her.

_Why does everything seem so complicated all of a sudden? It used to be just survive, fight, survive… but now…_

_I have no reason to fight. No goal to achieve. All that was left to me is life…_

"I hate this place…"

Her hand curled around the capsule and drew tight, her anger fuelling the strength of her hand.

Her other hand came up and curled next to it as she felt hotness run down her cheeks.

"God! I'm so pathetic… I'm crying again…"

She pressed her fists over her eyes, and rubbed the tears away. She couldn't suppress a sniff, and drew a long, steady breath to calm herself.

She leaned back against the chair, staring at her open palms. The capsule in her left hand was slightly squashed, but still whole.

_+You must consume it, or else we will not survive. I can teach you the protocols, since we will have to stay under cover for a while+_

"Why would you do that? I'm an intruder! You should… hate me… at least!"

_+I have said this before; I am interested as to your nature. I could learn great deal of you-+_

"So you're using me, is that it?"

_+As you are using me+_

"Well, I didn't choose to do this, you know! I was forced into you! No, wait. You forced me into here!"

_+I am aware of that. However, you were about to be shot-+_

"Yes, but I was prepared for that! You can't just walk into someone's life and take away their purpose!"

_+… So your purpose was to die? I cannot understand-+_

"By my own choice! You know about choice! It's mine to take! _Mine_!"

_+So why did you fight up to then?+_

"I… I wanted.."

She wasn't sure what she wanted. She knew she had wanted to see Kohta to apologize. She had waded through oceans of blood just to do that. And then, as she turned to leave after saying her part, he had wanted her to stay…

To die was to save humanity from herself, to save him from herself and her kind.

"I wanted it to stop…"

_The bloodshed, the torn, mangled bodies lying unmoving on the floor at her feet as she casually dressed herself in another family's home-_

"I wanted peace of mind…"

_Looking in his eyes, the faint, suppressed memories coming to haunt him again as she told him when and why he had lost his father and sister-_

"I wanted to start anew, make it all right again…"

As she remembered all the things in her life as Nyu, she began to feel herself shiver slightly.

"I'm lost, alone and out of place… all I can do is kill, and now that is no longer my intent. What can I possibly do?"

Innocent. That was what you could have called her. Nyu, that is. Not Lucy. Or Kaede. Her only way of redeeming herself was to become innocent.

Holding the cup in her left, and the pill in her right hand, she absentmindedly gazed out the window. A flick of the hand and a sip of water later, she had swallowed the pill.

_+How did you gain control over my vessel?+_

Now that completely blew her over.

"I'm not sure… I just got so angry, then I was freezing cold in your shower. By the way, just how much hot water do you have normally?"

_+I have six minutes of 30 degree warm water. Why do you ask?+_

"Oh, just asking. So I haven't even got hot water. Well, I'm in hell, then. With cold water"

.

* * *

.

He exited the bus, and sat down on the bench, wondering where to go from here. Glancing up to the mountain, he decided to get a clear view from up there.

As he glanced down the road, he spotted a black sedan parked a few miles away, accompanied by a suited man doing something behind it.

Of course, they wouldn't leave him alone.

_Can't I have any peace at all?_

He gathered his backpack and began to run up the mountainside.

Something he regretted about two miles later. Out of breath, he sat down on the edge of the cliff face, watching the clouds drift up the slopes of the mountain. In the valley, like a white fortress, sat the City of Tokyo III. It glistened and gleamed in the sunlight breaking through over it, somehow reminding him that somehow, there was still hope.

He caught his breath, and sat for a few moments longer before continuing his trek, this time slowly, up the mountain side.

.

* * *

.

Much, much later, he reached the top, and stood on the clearing that overlooked the last angel's field of demise. Deep scars in the landscape marked where unit 00 and 01 had been flung around. Another hole a few miles away, marked the point where his rifle had been fliung into the ground as he dropped it.

To save his fellow pilot.

A rustle in the bushes drove his reverie away. Angrily, he flung his pack off himself, and sat down.

"Fine. I give up. Take me back, if you can't leave me alone."

He felt tears well up as he realized just how wrong the situation seemed.

"Take me back to Misato."

As if on cue, he saw three agents step out from behind the bushes. One was holding a cell to his ear, the other two marched up to him.

"You are Ikari Shinji?"

"Uhh… yes?"

"Please accompany us to Nerv. You are expected to report as soon as we return"

The second agent picked up the pack and lead the way to the sedan parked half a mile away. He just followed, not seeing any way of escape anyway. Besides, he was tired.

.

* * *

.

Ritsuko stubbed out her cigarette as the Captain entered the office.

"So I hear that Shinji has returned?"

"Yes. I'm going to talk to him in a few minutes. I think that maybe, he should stop piloting-"

"What the fuck, Misato? Do you know how hard it is to find pilots? We have Three. Misato. _Three_ kids on _earth_ that can pilot them! You can't just let him go-"

"I KNOW!" Misato shouted. "I know he has to! I know he has to sacrifice his own happiness for the survival of mankind! We all have the same burden, Ritsuko, and I of all people you know understand and accept it! But don't you think that if you give them a _choice_ to pilot Eva or not, that you show them that their own wellbeing is at least _recognized_! God damn it, Ritsuko! Have a heart!"

With that, she stormed out of the office towards the waiting room.

.

* * *

.

"So how did your little trip work for you?"

She stood leaning against the wall, her arms crossed under her breasts.

"I guess I have no choice about piloting… No one else can, and Rei…"

She felt the anger that had been directed at Ritsuko earlier return.

"You have to chose to pilot of your own volition, Shinji. I can't force you to, neither can anyone else-"

"That's easy for you to say! I have to go through the damn pain every time I pilot the Eva! All you do is hide underground and order me to do stuff! You're no better than father-"

Misato cut him off by snapping just as harshly as with Ritsuko.

"God damn it, Shinji! We all have to fight, in small ways and larger ones!"

"And what are you fighting? I can only see two people fighting, Misato, and one of them is Rei!"

She was slightly taken aback by his outburst. Sighing, she sat down on a chair opposite his own.

Leaning forwards, she tried to make eye contact with him. Which was quite difficult, seeing that he was looking at his shoes.

"Shinji. I know it sounds hypocritical, but I know what you mean. And for that matter, I am here to ask if you want to go back to your uncle's or stay and fight. We can configure Unit 01 for Rei and use it for backup, and there are other pilots-"

That shook him out of it. "Other pilots? What do you mean, other pilots!"

_Shit! Shouldn't have said that!_

"The only other pilot is still in Germany for training!"

"And why is it that the other pilot and Rei have had training _before_ actually having to kill an enraged angel?"

He was standing now, his fists clenched to his sides in fury. His expression mirrored his stance, even with the borderline teary eyes.

Misato had to think quickly now, or lose the Third Child for ever.

"Yes, they have. But, and this is a big but, _you are the only one that ever defeated an angel!_"

He looked surprised at that, his fury momentarily spent as he was reminded of the cold truth. After a moment, she got up and fidgeted with her hands for a while.

"Plus, you're the only one that I can talk to, you know? It would really hurt to let any pilot go, but this is your choice, Shinji. Yours alone to make, without being forced to do so by your father or me. Choose for yourself, not for others"

She stood there in front of a shocked Shinji, then turned and left, leaving him sitting, once again, alone and unsure what he should do.

.

* * *

.

"Hey Misato! How is life on the outside world?"

She just grunted, beer in hand, and plonked herself down next to Ritsuko, facing the bar's wide open window overlooking the geo front.

"Whats this, not overjoyed that you finally have a challenging job?"

Misato glared at her friend, then returned her full attention to her beverage.

"Paperwork is not one of my most favorite things in life, unlike you, you celluloseophile. I bet you get off on that stuff…"

Ritsuko gave a sarcastic half laugh as she took another pull on her cigarette. "and how's the family doing?"

"Pen-Pen's doing fine. Keeps bothering me to get him fish almost every hour or so. Weird though, cause Shinji does feed him regularly…"

"Ah yes. And how are you two getting along? You've lived with another man before, haven't you?"

"Heh. It's not anything like eight years ago, Rits. He's still a kid, you know"

She took another sip as Ritsuko smiled knowingly. "Well… I'm not so sure about that. I mean, he did stay here because of you…"

"you're wrong there…"

Misato leaned on her right elbow, turning the glass in her left hand. "I think it's more because he wants his father to acknowledge him… give him a pat on the shoulder, a praise, anything…"

Ritsuko sobered a bit at that. "yes, that might be it. He wants an affection that will wash all his self-doubt away. Basically, he wants what we all do. But he will learn to live like all of us, Misato. Don't let that get to you!" she stubbed out her cigarette and pulled two cards out from her pocket.

"Oh, and if you could tell him to bring Rei's card over tomorrow before coming in, I'd be real greatful!"

She laid them down next to Misato's beer with a soft click, then gave her a pat on the shoulder before leaving.

.

* * *

.

_+You are too energetic by far. This will be noticed by all, even at School+_

Lucy stopped, for the hundredth time, marching across the unkept room. She had begun to hate the fact that she was going to have to pilot Rei's body, or rather as she preferred to call it, "Vessel", to and from Nerv, School and the very few social outings with the Commander. Because neither she or Lucy had found out how to return control to Rei, they had began to practice her stance, voice patterns, and behavioral traits.

Lucy was getting tired of it, and began to yawn.

_+You must inhale normally to prevent oxygen deprivation. Surely-+_

"Yes, damnit! I'm sorry I'm tired, stuck in your body and lacking in acting skills!"

It was going to be a long evening.

.

* * *

**~/\~**

* * *

**A/N; And so I give you chapter 9. No pre-reader was used, and I hope someone might be interested. After all, I am no Squire of Gothos. **

**Thanks for reading, Lucy will be happy for once. Nyu will be extra kind if you review. It will, however, annoy the hell out of Lucy. **

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V**


	10. Fortitude for the Unfortunate

I don't own Jack. Or Eva.

* * *

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**Chapter 10; Fortitude to the Unfortunate**

* * *

**~/\~**

* * *

Misato stared out at the scenery. Her drink sat before her, untouched. Lately, she'd been drinking so much beer that anything else seemed to blur around her taste buds. Or maybe it was because she had, as usual, had a shitty day. Shinji was acting strange, Rei seemed… different… and to top the whole lot off, the head of project E seemed to engrossed with _work_ to spare her ten minutes for a night out.

It had been… a shitty day.

.

* * *

.

"And why are we doing this again?"

Lucy felt tempted to smash her head in, but then again, it was not her head.

_+You must be able to pass as myself. Otherwise we will be subjected to either experimentations, like you yourself have experienced, or… termination… as I have experienced. It is unpleasant, and not to be recommended.+_

"Oh. So if someone noticed, we're dead, right?"

_+Yes. +_

Lucy sighed and made to sit, but halted. She returned to a standing position, closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Letting the air out in a long, constant blow, she opened her eyes and relaxed her muscles. Clearing her mind, she let all her thoughts recede to the back of her head, and the muscles on her face returned to their neutral positions. Then she bent herself, rather fluidly and silently, placing her derriere lightly on the bed sheets.

_+Well done. You are beginning to emulate me rather well. Let us proceeded to the next stage+ _

She nodded, ever so slightly, and prepared to get up. She did so, fluidly, and silently made her way towards the mirror in the bathroom.

_+When you are addressed, do not make any sudden movement. This is crucial, as I maintained a constant state of vigilance around me. The commander taught me to do so, and he would notice any difference in behavior. +_

As she stood in front of the mirror, she couldn't help but be surprised at her new looks. Blue hair, of all things, was the most prominent feature. Even though, in all her time fighting humans, she'd never felt the need to be special outwards, she had come to like her hair. The pinkish red mane she had sported was something of a gift in her eyes. But at the same time, it had marked her, along with the horns.

She reached up to press a strand of hair between her fingers, feeling the same dryness that her hair had, before she'd been taken in with Kohta's pseudo-family-

She stopped. Looking at herself, she'd noticed something out of place.

_+What is it, Lucy?+_

She ignored the voice, and with her hands shaking, she raised a hand to her head, where her horns used to be.

_All I was, was a killing machine…_

Ever so slowly, her hand lowered itself to her hair.

_And then I was free of it. I was able to ask for forgiveness…_

_And now…_

Her hand touched, and her fingertips felt, ever so slightly…

_I am that monster once again._

…the hard bulge of heightened bone material underneath her scalp.

"No…no.."

Her other hand swept up, desperately trying to prove herself wrong, coming down on the opposite side of her head-

"NO! No no.."

Her heart began to beat faster, the tears rushing to her eyes as she realized that her new self was not free of her curse.

"..It can't be… not here… "

Her legs grew weak, and as she stepped away from the mirror, she collapsed against the wall behind her.

Tears ran down her face, dripping off her chin to fall on her lap as she lay, crying her eyes out again.

_I'm still the same… I'll never be free…_

As her frustration grew, she began thrashing around herself, screaming at nothing, and everything. And in her rage, she unleashed her vectors, slashing her clothes off, denting the walls and knocking parts out of the bathroom's ceramics.

And half an hour later, she collapsed, spent and sobbing, back into a heap.

"I'm g-going to die he-here, alone and miserable, once more!"

Her voice was laden with sobs, her face buried in her hands

+_If you continue to destroy my-+_

"_I don't care!"_ she screamed.

"I don't care if I cause you trouble! You brought me here! I hate you! _I hate you!"_

She descended into tears again, rocking back and forth on her knees.

_+But if we could-+_

"SHUT UP! SHUT! UP!"

She was screaming her lungs out, bruising her throat with every syllable. Her face was twisted beyond recognition as she released the pent up frustration held for the whole time of her relocation.

Her anger at the institute.

Her joy at seeing Kohta, finally after so many years…

His warmth as he held her close, begging her to stay, to end the bloodshed…

Her execution. Death. Release.

Only to wake up once again.

Rebirthed. Cursed. Hated by all, and herself.

She cried, and cried and cried until her tears no longer came, until her body could no longer sob, until her mind grew numb, void of emotion, thought, awareness.

Only one thought remained. And the mind of Rei Ayanami felt the cold, bittersweet taste of revenge for the first time in her life.

.

* * *

.

Shinji walked up to the door. Apartment 402. This was it. No name at the door, the sign having fallen from the wall long ago. A rusty screw the only testimony of any kind of advertised residency. He pushed the button, but no sound was heard from where he stood. He waited for a minute, then tried again. After two more minutes, he sighed. "Either she's not home or it's broken. "

He stood there in front of the door, uncertainty gnawing at him.

_It's just a card! How hard can this be?_

He clenched his hand, and with a final heavy sigh, pushed the door open. Of course, he expected it to be locked. Who wouldn't? So he stood, as the unexpected turn of events threw him completely off track.

_Well, you made it this far…_

He slowly entered, ready to run the second Ayanami showed up. He hesitated at the entry, then slipped the card into his pocket to remove his shoes. As he bent down he noticed the shoeprints leading into the apartment. He carefully walked into the room, and met a sight he would never have expected.

The room was absolutely filthy. The curtains were drawn, leaving the eyes mercifully unaware of the state of the floor. Bandages littered the bed, used and new, carelessly tossed aside after being removed or opened.

To say he was surprised was equal to comparing a match to an N2 Mine.

All of a sudden, he heard a soft rustle of fabric.

_Oh god someone's here!_

He instantly tensed, and turned round slowly. Painfully, he made out Ayanami's form, completely naked, standing at the door to the shower. Panic froze him to the spot, and he noticed that she had not noticed him yet. But anytime now she's going to raise her head…

_Oh shit she's coming towards me! Run! Run! Run run run run…_

But he could not move a single muscle. Then Ayanami finally seemed to notice him.

Lucy barely registered that someone was standing in front of her. She looked up, fear gripping her.

_Have they already discovered me? How…_

She met the man's… the boy's… gaze, and just managed to pull out of striking his head off his shoulders. Instead, she hit the wall and the cupboard. The wall was dented, and the cupboard shattered. She winced, and the kid screamed in panic and fled in the only direction he saw open… namely straight into Lucy. He tangled up with her completely. They both fell, and Shinji somehow managed to land underneath her and soften the fall with himself.

Dust motes billowed in the crack of light shed from the nearly closed curtains. Lucy felt strong arms around her, the heavy breathing of the boy underneath her. He had broken her fall. Why?

_Why are you so nice to me…_

He slowly looked at her. "Are you alright? Ayanami? Are you okay?" he couldn't see her face. Her arms were splayed away from him, and he tightened his grasp slightly. He carefully tried to look her in the face. He met a sight he'd never thought he'd see.

Ayanami had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red. Nearly matching the color of her irises. Her red orbs averted, she looked almost dead, if he hadn't known her before. Slowly, she turned her face to him. There was emotion on it, no doubt. Sadness, and something else…

Lucy looked at him. He was, like her now, about 14. Blue eyes, a skinny weak-looking body, and a shock of dark brown hair.

_Like Kohta…_

The thought flashed briefly in her mind, but red hot and sharp as a needle. And then…

Lucy screamed in agony. Rei was fighting, getting her body back. Lucy was too late, and after a few seconds all she felt was oblivion. For now, she would have to rest.

.

.

"Ayanami!" Shinji shouted as she screamed and rolled her eyes up, descending into unconsciousness.

_What have I done? She's unconscious!_

He slipped out from beneath her and crashed backwards into the remains of the cupboard, breathing hard, panicking. After a few moments though, he saw her move. She had rolled her head to look at him. A soft, very faint, frown appeared on her porcelain face, the red rimmed eyes giving her an aura of sickly anger.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. He cringed at her voice, fearing the worst. But it didn't come. Rei stared at him for a while longer, and then got up and collected her clothes. She turned around and attempted to get an answer to her question. Ikari had yet to stop staring at her. She had no sense of humility and was standing, to Shinji's utter amazement, naked in front of him. He, being a fourteen year old adolescent, couldn't stop staring for his life. Rei tilted her head slightly.

_Does he find my body attractive? I am unremarkable, undesirable._

The thought lasted all of one second, before she swept it out of her mind. Pursue your task. Without distractions.

"Pilot Ikari. Are you in need of a hearing aid?" she said, slightly louder this time. He blinked, and slowly his brain took up the train of thought again. It computed his situation instantly, giving him a quite obvious common denominator.

Stutter and run, boy, stutter and run.

"Ah… I…I… that is… um…"

_What am I doing here? Why am I here? Argh I've actually forgotten… no wait!_

"The card! Yeah… Ritsuko gave me the card yesterday and asked me to bring it to you before we went in today! And Misato couldn't make it…" yeah, she's still sleeping off her hangover" so I…"

Then it dawned on him. Flinging himself about, he went into apologetic overdrive.

Rei felt something inside her make her want to stretch her facial muscles, just behind the corners of her lips. She suppressed it, but the warm feeling inside her continued to make itself noticeable. It was coming from somewhere in her mind, probably from the soul cohabiting within her.

So this was out of her control, at least, at a base level. She wondered if this dually souled body might take on traits of both personalities. Emotions…

_I might learn what they are in time. This is, however beside the point. It is… irritating to not be able to be in complete control of myself. I must try to communicate this to Lucy somehow. I must pursue this as soon as I have time_

Now, however, was not the time.

She had work to do. Important work. And time was of the essence. Now the other soul had wasted so much time, she might even be late. So, ignoring the less pressing matters, she gathered new clothes and dressed, quickly and methodically. Ikari was still stuttering incoherently at the wall as she stepped out of the door, beginning her journey to the Eva cages deep in the bowels of NERV.

Shinji heard the door open and close. Of course, he knew she had left, but he turned around slowly, ready to leap out the window the moment he saw a speck of alabaster skin. Fortunately for him, and for his body, he found no reason to try forcing his body out the reinforced glass plates covering the window.

.

* * *

.

Rei finally made it to the entry gates of NERV, swiping her ID card in the reader. To her slight annoyance, it pinged twice and showed up red. Nevertheless, she tried again.

Shinji walked up next to her and ran a card through the reader. It acknowledged Rei Ayanami and opened the gates for her. Shinji held out the card and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, but this is what I tried to give to you…"

She reached out and took it from him, wondering why he had taken that long to convey his reason to intrude into her home. Holding the card lightly, she swept her gaze from the card to the boy, a slight frown on her face.

"Why did you not inform me of this before? Our conversation would have been much more meaningful. I dislike wasting words, Ikari."

The frown left her face and she returned her attention to getting to her designated Eva.

Shinji kept his distance after that, wondering what she had meant with that. After all, he'd mentioned the card, right? No, she'd probably stopped listening after a while, it was only natural. Who'd listen to his inane babblings? Exactly.

As they reached the escalator, he was still wondering about it when Ayanami suddenly stopped.

She felt uncertain, and the walk toward the changing rooms seemed to take far too long for her.

_I should not be nervous…_

The thought went round and round her mind as she stood, uncertainly at the top of the escalators.

_It is too late for me to go back, I have to move on. It is, after all, merely the state of mind that influences this activation. I can achieve activation without any physical addition_

She knew this, of course. The commander had taught her, and she had learned it all by heart.

So why was she feeling so uncertain?

Shinji stood, about six feet behind her, slightly puzzled at her motionlessness.

.

* * *

.

"Look, Misato, you know you still like him. I know you like him. _Professor Fuyutsuki_ knows you like him, for god's sake!" the shrill voice of Ritsuko Akagi drifted down from the hallway. Steps of two high heeled pair of shoes resounded off the green walls as both made their way to the command centre.

"I do _not_ like that prick, for the last time! Now go annoy someone else, I've got work to do! And no, he's not coming here! I know!"

"You know, some people would call that stalking. And with that said, I have all the reason and facts to state my case. You love him, he loves you, and you are acting like a five year old girl who doesn't know what she wants. Now, I have work to do, and if you don't mind, Rei's already late, so don't make me even later. "

Misato was still staring after her friend's back in utter disbelief as the door to the command deck opened expelling a heavily loaded Maya Ibuki. Misato had about one tenth of a second to get out of the way before the overloaded woman nearly buried her in paperwork. Literally as well as figuratively. Heaving a sigh, she stepped into the command center cavern.

_Well at least nothing could possibly turn up that's worse than _him…

Alarms blared. Red lights flashed. Like a deer caught in the headlights, she froze as the magi informed of a detected pattern blue.

_I thought Irony like this only happened in films! _

"Angel detected! It's moving in from the Pacific Ocean at 4 kilometers an hour! Estimated time of arrival; one hour thirty minutes!"

.

* * *

.

Once again, Shinji was traveling upwards to fight an enemy whose powers were unknown, with a weapon that was likely to give him just as much pain as the enemy. If he weren't pressed back into his seat, he would have sighed.

"_High energy reading coming from the Angel!"_ came out from the radio.

_Almost there.._

Misato's shout of _*Shinji, watch out!*_ barely registered as the shock absorbers took the weight of the Eva's arrival. He was just barely able to identify a Blue Diamond moving towards him as a very, very bright light formed at its centre and then blasted its way towards him. He had no time to move, and could only scream in pain as the lance of power cut through his armor and began cooking him with it. The pain seemed to cut him up inside, as the synchronization put him in full appreciation of the pain his EVA felt. He couldn't help but scream…

.

* * *

.

"Retrieve the EVA, for god's sake!" came the shout of the op director. The lieutenant kept trying, but he failed time and time again to bring unit 01 in safety.

"It's not working! The transport rails must have been completely destroyed!"

Misato drew back in shock and went through her options. They were not good. And not many.

"Set top priority to Pilot recovery. Eject the plug and send out a rescue team immediately-"

"Belay that." The cold unforgiving voice of Commander Ikari reverberated through the hall. Everyone stared up at the figure hunched over the desk, his eyes and mouth both hidden. Misato recovered quickly though and said "but it'll kill him! There's no way he'll survive that much of a beating for long!" with the commander still unresponsive, she turned to Ritsuko. She, however, had her hands in her pockets and her head turned to the side.

"If the Pilot is removed, the AT field will collapse. The Armor won't stand it for long, and the EVA will be completely obliterated." She looked at her, her eyes void of emotion. "I'm sorry."

Misato held her gaze for just a second, hoping to talk to her sometime soon, then played her last card. Hell, there will be questions, paperwork and probable punishment, but at least they'd have a pilot to save their asses again.

"Detonate the explosive bolts surrounding the exit shaft, now!" Lt Aoba nearly skipped a beat as he accessed the Tokyo 3 pyrotechnical overlay. Shortly, he triggered all forty-five bolts and prayed to god that he wouldn't get into trouble for this.

Ten seconds later, the stricken Eva made its way down to the Geofront, along with quite a bit of Tokyo 3's infrastructure. Recovery took half an hour, with Shinji still trapped in the boiling LCL, and they had to restart his heart four times. Finally, the plug was ejected, and the med-evac team hurried him off to surgery. The EVA, meanwhile, had been carted off to the coolant cages, technicians already began to strip armor and replacing it. Even so, the repair was going to be rushed. All they could hope for was that the OD had a good battle plan.

* * *

**~/\~**

* * *

**Authors pointless babble; **

**And here we have it; chapter TEN! Hooray and partyhats all round. **

**Big hand goes to Squire of Gothos; Thanks to him for pre-reading this chapter!**

**Thanks go to Hanzo of the Salamander, Nimak and Dark09 for reviewing. You guys keep me going! 8D**

**Anyway, Hope you begin to see where it's headed. Lucy might spare me a finger or two when she hacks me to pieces tonight… -.-**

**Next chapter, well... I have faith in it. It will be up before Christmas, Promise! May Lucy Tear me asunder and scatter my measly remains far across hte world if I do not update before!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V  
**


	11. Fear of Light

Disclaimer; I don't own Jack. Or Eva.

* * *

Of Lilim and Lilium

Chapter 11; Fear of Light

**A/N; Well, here you go! I actually made the deadline. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

**~/\~**

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer; I don't own Jack. Or Eva.

Nine hours.

That was the time they all had until the operation would be initiated.

Nine hours of hard, rushed work, hoping that the mission would not fail.

Nine hours of nerve- wracking worries for technicians, builders, staff and civilians.

Nine hours to prevent the angel from ever reaching the geo-front, mankind's last hope to defeat the angels.

"Sniping? What the hell kind of plan is this?"

Misato grinned at her smiling friend. "It's the best we can do right now, so keep your damn comments to yourself, Rits!"

Akagi harrumphed, crossing her arms under her breasts. "Yes ma'am_, Operations Director_ Katsuragi…"

Misato clasped her hands in front of herself and sighed. "Ooohhh, I could get used to you saying that! No matter how utterly stupid you try to make it sound, the words themselves are enough to get me by…"

Ritsuko snorted, obviously unconvinced at Misato's attempt at playing the 'eager overachiever'. "You have to know that our positron rifle will not penetrate the Angel's AT field, right?"

"_Yes._ I know that. But there is one more…"

Ritsuko smiled again. "You're gonna-"

"Hey! I'm the one that came up with this! And I'm damn sure that I'll be the one to say it!" Misato's face was red with jealousy, her fists clenched in fury as she turned to her currently Ex-friend.

Akagi backed off a step, raising her hands defensively. "Oka, okay! Jeesh, go ahead and say it!"

Misato turned around, placed her hand on her hips and raised a single finger to the heavens.

"We're going to get the SSDF's secret Positron Prototype!"

Akagi sighed, rubbing a cheek with a free hand. _She's got one hell of an attention issue…_

So all that remained was the issue of getting enough watts to actually penetrate this angel's AT field. 180000000 Kilowatts to be precise.

.

.

"_We interrupt our regular program for this urgent newsflash. From tonight, 23:30 until tomorrow morning, 04:00, there will be a large scale power blackout throughout most of japan. We thank you for your cooperation."_

Kensuke and Touji stared at the screen. Ten seconds. _Ten seconds_. That's how close they'd come to beating the last opponent before the bitch screwed them over with this stupid bulletin.

Touji's left eye twitched.

Kensuke just cursed the damn news override act of 2012.

.

.

"How's the construction going?"

"We're about 2.1 percent behind schedule, but we should be up and running at 23:10."

Misato nodded. Then she turned to another screen. "Status report on the positron rifle!"

"_We can make it in three hours, Ma'am!"_

Nodding again, she turned to the sound-only display. "What about defense?"

Ritsuko's voice was slightly halled as she answered. "Well, a shield is the best we could come up with. It looks ugly, but it's got an electromagnetic base coating, and section two says that we'll have at least 17 seconds of resistance. That good for you?"

Misato nodded. "Good work, Ritsuko."

Turning to the crew, she addressed the deck. "We will commence the operation at zero hundred hours. Once the preparations are done, we defend mankind from mount Futago. From now on, this operation is codenamed operation YASHIMA!"

As the hustle and bustle took up again, she couldn't help but think what might happen tonight. The fate of mankind was in one pilot's hands. But the backup…

.

.

Shinji woke, slowly becoming aware of the fluorescent light illuminating the hospital room and himself. He felt the familiar soft linen covering his body, protecting him from the cool air around him.

"Fuck…"

He let a hand rise to his chest, where the ghost pain of the pin point beam had seared itself into his memory.

Suddenly, the door slipped open, revealing Rei Ayanami pushing a trolley in front of her. She parked it neatly next to the bed and then walked over to the chair next to the bed. Sitting down, she removed a small notebook from her pocket.

Setting it down on her lap, she faced him with a usual expressionless glance. Shinji pulled himself together and shook his head slightly.

"Ayanami…"

"Ikari." She acknowledged his greeting, however confused he seemed. "How do you feel?"

He sat up slightly, leaning on his right arm while still rubbing the spot where for all he knew, he'd been shot through.

"Okay, I guess… it still hurts a little" He looked at Rei, a faint smile on his face. The enigmatic girl nodded, then opened her notebook.

"I've been sent to brief you on operation Yashima. The orders are as follows; the operation will begin tonight, midnight. Pilots Ikari and Ayanami are to report at the cages at 17:30. At 18:00 Units One and Zero will activate. At 18:05, both units will be deployed. At 18:30, we will arrive at the temporary base at mount Futago, where we will await further orders."

She folded the book, then replaced it in her pocket. He nodded and glanced at the trolley.

Rei followed his glance and explained the situation.

"This is your meal. A Spare plug suit is also included in the trolley. Here..."

She got up and opened a compartment, retrieving a plug suit wrapped in foil. She placed it on the chair, then waited for any questions.

Shinji drew his legs up, hugging them to himself. "I don't feel like eating…"

Rei nodded once. "We will be departing in one hour. I suggest you replenish your strength before going into battle"

He turned away, looking out the window, the early evening sky shining into the room.

"Do I really have to pilot Eva again?"

Rei gripped the handle slightly harder. "yes… You must."

Shinji sighed. When was this ever going to end?

"All I ever get from piloting is wounds…"

He mumbled into the sheets.

Rei knew what he meant. She'd been subject to enough pain already to know what he meant. Unfortunately, there was no other choice.

"You must hurry. Dr Akagi and Captain Katsuragi will be waiting for us at the cages" she turned and opened the door. As she passed the frame, she halted, her hand on the laser sensor keeping the door from closing. Turning her head to one side, she felt like saying something.

"Ikari…"

Words, however, failed to come. All she could say was..

"…Goodbye"

With that, she left, leaving a confused Third child behind. After a moment, he moved his eyes from the door to the tray. His stomach grumbled…

.

.

"_Primary connections are go!"_

"_Initiating second contact sequence!"_

"_All readings nominal. Removing mindblocks!"_

"_Secondary connections are stable. Pilot's lifesigns are in the green. We have a go for third contact sequence!"_

Rei sat back, awaiting the mental weight that always manifested itself upon synchronization. It felt almost as if her mind was being compressed, in a weird sort of way. Commander Ikari had told her it was due to the mindblocks that reigned in the Eva's Mind that the restraint she felt was that which the Eva felt.

She believed this, of course. The Pilot felt everything the Eva Felt. Pain, rage, emotions….

Now there was something she would ponder on for hours on end. What if these blocks were to be removed? What if the full emotional and sentient Eva were to awake, to find itself in such a hostile terrain as an Angel battle?

Part of the answer was hidden to her. A very large part.

However…

The battle against Sachiel had proven what could happen. Broken from within, these barriers had unleashed something akin to the feared state of berserker. She had asked him if this was indeed what it seemed like, but he had answered with a simple No.

The barriers had been found intact as soon as the Eva had been locked in the cage.

She shuddered slightly at the thought.

_I feel cold… why?_

_._

_.  
_

Shinji stood next to Rei, maybe five feet away from the two women coordinating the operation.

Misato nodded at the two of them as she came to a stop in front of them, crossing her arms and standing with her feet placed firmly on the ground.

"Right. My orders are as follows. We will snipe the angel from the top of the mountain. The high-powered Positron prototype cannon will have enough strength to penetrate the Angel's AT-field."

Looking at the Doctor beside her, she continued.

"There will be two positions. Offence and Defence. Rei?"

"Yes"

"you will be the gunner"

Shinji sighed inwardly. _Thank god I don't have to shoot…_

Shinji?"

He jerked. "Y-yes?"

"You will defend Rei if anything should happen. There is a shield that Rei transported here. You'll be manning that. Hopefully, you won't need it"

He gulped. "Okay…"

"Rei. Since your sync rate is higher, you will need to be the gunner. This operation requires high- precision manipulation. Since the positrons will be influenced by the earth's gravitiy, magnetic field and rotation, you'll have to do the corrections manually"

Rei nodded silently. She glanced over to her co-pilot.

Shinji was fidgeting with his plugsuit. "so… I have to protect Rei, right?"

Misato smiled. "Yes, Shinji. You'll be protecting her. Now, get ready. We'll be starting in ten minutes"

They both answered with a soft "Yes"

.

.

Rei and Shinji were sitting on the boarding platforms. The sky was alight with the soft sheen of the moon, the only source of light outside the Tokyo III area. Shinji mused that if the moon would not be up, they'd have a beautiful starry sky right now. He wondered if he'd ever see one again…

"Why do you continue to pilot Eva, Ikari?"

The question shook him out of the reverie, completely knocking him off his thoughts.

"Umm… I'm not sure. I guess it's because no one told me to stop."

_Yeah, right. She'll see right through that…_

Rei seemed to reflect on this. There was a silence for a while, until she asked another question.

"Is there no other reason you pilot?"

He hugged his knees. He wasn't entirely sure about that himself.

"I guess… that I like the praise I get. When I pilot Eva, people are nice to me. I don't know…"

The silence grew heavy once more. He wondered if the First child would leave off talking to him.

"I… trust you, Pilot Ikari"

_Huh!_

"You have proven yourself adequate to handle this mission. I feel… assured that you will be protecting me from harm. Thus, I trust you"

"Rei…"

She stood up, checking her plug suit. "It is time. Let us go"

For a moment, she was silhouetted against the huge white moon. Her blue hair covered the side facing him.

"Goodbye, Shinji"

It sounded like she was leaving forever. But as he got up and boarded his Eva, he realized that it was just the way she was.

.

.

The timer blinked to 00:00, then the alert sounded the beginning of the operation. Misato took a deep breath and faced the crew in the command vehicle.

"All right, people, let's get this show on the road!"

As the technicians began to focus all the power of Japan into the one, fateful shot that Rei had to execute. Six minutes later, the final connection was made, the nearly two million kilowatts focused on the positron rifle in Rei Ayanami's hands.

_I feel… uncertain_

She felt her heart beat slowly against her chest. The Angel in front of her continued to drill down to the geo front, its seemingly endless patient drilling not only breaking the defenses of the physical world, but of all the men and women involved in the war.

"_Load rifle!"_

She reached out and pulled the release, sliding a fuse in place to unleash the deadly flow of power.

"Rifle is loaded. Awaiting orders."

"_Fire at will. Repeat, fire at will."_

She pulled out her targeting system. It switched to enhanced mode, and began to coordinate distance, height and power of her rifle. The targeting cross-hair slowly made its two elements come closer, indicating the acquisition of target. Now she had to wait.

_Will one shot even be enough?_

The thought came though her mind and pierced her concentration. That was not her thought…

Pain. _No! Not now!_

The cross-hair inched its way closer together. Not long now.

The pain got worse. It crept from the back of her head to her forehead, dulling her vision.

Only five more seconds.

She grunted in pain. Her vision lost focus, the edges of her eyesight began to fade…

The cross-hair clicked into place, and the alert made her twitch her finger against the trigger with just enough pressure to fire…

Just then, the Angel began to glow…

.

.

Shinji saw it coming. The Angel was beginning to glow, and just as the shot was fired, it split and twisted, the diamond shape fracturing into hundreds of geometric forms, circling the red core in the middle. The shot passed just a few feet under it, crashing into the mountain side behind it. The core was growing brighter, until…

He screamed and leapt up, his shield flung before him as the Angel's energy beam blasted it's way to Rei's position. He buried the point in the ground, braced one leg behind him and held on to the shield for his dear life. The impact almost threw him off, dissipating along the surface of the shield into the ground.

"Rei! Are you okay?"

He tried to reach her, but the interference jammed communication. She should have been reloading! Why wasn't she reloading?

He grunted as the shield began to disintegrate under the onslaught of the angel's powefulr weapon.

.

.

_NO! Not NOW!_

Rei felt herself slipping mentally…

.

.

_Lucy was aware of something…._

_Just like always, she lashed out at it, mentally screaming to escape from her prison. The darkness within herself was pressing upon her, trying to constrict her mind. It felt like being choked, slowly and deliberately. _

_+Lucy+_

_She felt the word reverberate around her mind, setting off her instinct to destroy…_

"_Why do you torture me so?"_

_She projected the thought with as much venom as possible. _

_+Torture? I... do not understand...+_

_Lucy laughed. "You're just the same as all the rest. You're just using me…"_

_._

_.  
_

"_Rei! Reload! Rei! What the hell are you doing!"_

Misato's words were lost to the still unconscious girl.

"_Pilot is unconscious. But…"_

"_What the fuck do you mean by That!"_

"_Ahh... she seems to be syncing, so that means she's still awake.."_

"_How the fuck can she be unconscious AND awake?"_

Shinji felt the shield begin to disintegrate. Ten seconds left.

_Come on, Rei... reload…_

The merciless energy beam tore at the shield as he put up with the strain.

.

.

_Lucy lashed out, her wild anger trying to rip the other mind apart. But, being the host, it withstood her attempt at freedom. _

_Just like earlier that day, she felt that cold light of freedom. And then…_

Rei awoke to screaming. Ikari Shinji's scream to be exact. And Captain Katsuragi's.

"_Rei! Goddamnit, do something for god's sake!"_

She blinked the pain away, reloaded and took aim…

Just as Shinji's shield gave up to the power of the angel's blast of energy.

All that stood in the way of her annihilation was his AT field and Evangelion unit 01.

The crosshair locked, and she jammed her finger against the switch….

* * *

**~/\~**

**

* * *

**

**A/N; Cliffie! Nyahahaha-ahem. **

**Merry Christmas everyone! Lucy says Hi!**


	12. An Excellant Plan

**It's been too long since I actually did anything on this one. Lazyness, as well as writing... other stuff has set my attention off from tis tale. But! I have gathered some experiance, that i hope will show on the following chapters. **

**And lucy is hunting me, as per usual. though i pray to god she's died of old age. **

* * *

Disclaimer; I don't own Jack, Elfen Lied or Eva

* * *

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**Chapter 11; An excellant Plan**

* * *

The shield was gone and unit 01's armor was slowly peeling away from the Eva's ravaged frame. Shinji was screaming again, his plug heating up under the enormous energy onslaught. Ayanami's shot tore past him, again twisting around the enemy's energy beam directed towards them. With a scream of disbelief, he saw it vaporize a whole hillside behind the Angel.

The second shot had failed.

The second chance was spent.

Their hope was lost.

And Shinji was boiled inside his entry-plug, his entire body on fire as the pain intensified with the rising heat.

Soon, even screaming became too much of an effort , and he simply tried to hold on to consciousness as long as he could…

* * *

Rei knew, after re-synching, that her shot had missed. Probably by pulling the trigger too hard, she'd moved the barrel ever so slightly off target.

And a third shot would require a two hundred and fifty-five second cooling of the barrel.

She had failed. Her purpose in life, and she had failed.

What would the Commander say?

What would he do?

She felt her counterpart stir, again. It felt strange, as if she was synching with her Eva, twice.

_+Damn… what have I done?+_

She almost cried out in shock as the second thought pattern crept over her consciousness. This however took a back seat as she noticed unit 01's silhouette against the blinding light coming from the angel's core.

"Ikari!"

Her half-whisper joined the screams coming from the comm. Link, drowning her mind in fear, and pain, and anguish.

And as she felt the ground shake beneath her, she could only watch as unit 01 vanished from view, along with everything else.

* * *

"So here we are again…"

The voice sounded defeated, almost deadpan. But there was a hint of anger there, too.

"You must release me, Lucy-"

"Release you? I don't even know how we get here! How the fuck can I release you if I don't even know where the hell I am!"

Rei recoiled. Still, she was feeling an anxiousness she had not felt for over nine years.

* * *

Soft light flooded Shinji's mind, the pain now strangely there, but not there. It was as if he was feeling it from a long distance away, somehow transmitting it from the other side of the world.

The light seemed to cleanse him, purging his body of the mindless assault.

Like before, he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, seemingly gentle, unhurried.

"You are safe, now. Join with me, let me soothe your pain…"

He kept his gaze ahead. There in front of him was a burning brightness, piercing his mind as if with ice.

"I can't leave Ayanami alone… I have to protect her… I have to protect Rei…."

"Do you wish this? To protect her with your own soul, our own body and mind?"

He felt rage build in his stomach. It was acidic, almost painful.

"Yes… _yes!_ I've got to get back to her! I have to…"

An arm wrapped around his waist. Soft skin pressed up against his back and neck. His mind began to focus, the anger and rage burning almost as brightly as the light before him.

"Then, with the light of your soul, protect her…"

His vision blurred, and he blinked once to find his hands held before him.

"What…"

He looked up, and felt his heart skip a beat as the solid wall of light blocked everything from view. The joy was short lived as he noticed a red scale traversing its way down to zero fast. 23 seconds to go.

He snapped his head both ways, looking for Rei's Eva. Just slightly to his right and behind him, the orange unit 00 lay crumpled over the rifle's barrel.

"Rei!"

He pulled his Eva up, tripping as he leapt to her, and managed to grab the stricken Eva to fall down the long slope of the mountainside.

He landed on top of her, his at-field still visible behind him.

The angel had stopped firing, and seemed to ponder its next move. The entire scene seemed eerie, unreal. Such calm, after such intense battle.

* * *

Misato had a pretty word to describe the scene that they were situated in. it was a word usually used to describe an act of love in a rather more animalistic form, without the actual love involved. And even if she had done it herself a few times before, she knew that she had never, ever, been so totally fucked as right now.

The screen hissed, the image continuously breaking up and reverting again.

Then, the Angel began to shape shift once more.

With a desperation yet unseen, she grabbed hold of a small radio unit.

"Drop the cargo! I repeat, drop the cargo!"

She took her finger off the send button and held it close to her chest as she stared at the unfolding fortress…

* * *

"_You're clear to go, Red. Remember, two seconds to disengage, twenty-four to fall, then activate skipping to direct control. Just like we practiced"_

The darkness inside the plug shook as the carrier hit a pocket of turbulence. Soft light from a watertight-wrapped radio illuminated the plug just enough to shilouhette the figure of a young girl sitting in the pilot's seat.

"Finally! I was beginning to think that they'd forgotten about me!"

The radio beeped again.

"_Right, on my mark; three… two… one… Mark!"_

A heavy clank reverberated through the entire plug. The pilot grabbed the controls and wrapped her fingers around them tightly.

"Now, let's show these people who they forgot, then…"

Freefall.

* * *

The angel solidified, forming a beautiful crystal rose, the glowing heart of its core beginning to shine brighter, brighter…

"Shinji! Get out of there! Run!"

Misato heard the tech's frail voice try to reason him out of the hopeless situation. Maya was almost in tears. Sometimes, Misato really wondered how she had gotten the job in the first place.

All she could do now was clutch her cross, and trust the pilot could count…

"All the world depends on you now. Please… do this right!"

The beam formed, tearing across the lake, boiling the water away faster than the steam could disperse. It hit the mountainside and threw up a huge part of the hillside, melting it almost instantly to it's bedrock. Not long now before the beam cut through the mountain, hitting the two unresponsive units.

She kept her eyes glued to the spot directly above the angel…

* * *

"Achtzehn, neunzehn, zwanzig, einundzwanzig, zweiundzwanzig, dreiundzwanzig, vierundzwanzig! Eva Einheit Zwei, Synchrotart! Protokoll dreizehn überspringen! Aktiviere progressives Messer!"

The German girl was lit inside the plug, the Angel's beam almost blinding her as she pointed her prog knife forwards and straight at the red globe underneath her. Her cry of battle was heard by all as the external speaker system relayed it accidentally.

"RAAHHHHHHH!"

The angel seemed to notice just a split second too late. All of a sudden, the few trifling tons of metal and meat had transformed into the screaming threat even worse than the ones behind the mountainside it was eradicating.

It was, as Misato so elegantly put it; "SO ROYALLY FUCKED!"

The prog knife penetrated the core, the entire weight behind the killer blow pushing it to the hilt, then beyond.

Asuka Langley Sohryu was doused in red as her unit followed, blasting clean through the angel's shattering core.

A moment of silence, the beam instantly disappeared.

Then the entire angel liquefied, joining Asuka in the descent to earth. The red unit unfolded it's arms and prepared for deceleration. The turbines were just barely able to ignite in time to shed delta-v, but far too little in the opinion of the redhead.

Asuka groaned as she watched the ground come closer.

"This is gonna hurt…"

* * *

Lucy pondered the view. It was largely red, without ground or ceiling. The figure in front of her was the host of her bodiless soul, the girl called Rei Ayanami. The slight frown indicated that she was highly annoyed, even if she wouldn't openly declare it so.

Somehow, sound from the outside was filtering through, slightly muffled and yet almost perfectly transmitted to her understanding.

It was as if…

"Oh no…"

Lucy felt the realization dawn on herself as Rei turned to the sounds.

"…_NYA! NYU! NYUU!"_

The blue haired girl slowly turned to her kidnapper.

"….Nyu? what does this mean?"

Lucy closed her eyes and settled to a comfortable drift.

"When you caught me… I was not the only thing you took back. It's a part of me… something I created to bridge the river of guilt I had for… what I did. It will take a while before I can take control of my body again-"

"You have forgotten that it is my vessel you inhabit currently, Lucy… "

Lucy coughed. "All right… _our_ body. Since technically I do have a bit of my old genes in you now…"

She felt slightly guilty in saying that, but held herself to that argument anyway.

The calls continued, growing weaker, tired…

"I cannot imagine what they will do if they find… our vessel in such a state… I hope that the Commander will not terminate it with me"

Lucy opened her eyes and met the red orbs of the blue haired girl.

"So you finally value your life?"

"My knowledge about you as well as the last two angel battles are not included with the latest mind-state backup. Only I can replace such knowledge, and if the fact that your genes are infecting all the other vessels is correct, it could lead to catastrophic results in continuous resurrections. Therefore I must inform the commander, even if that leads to my destruction. I am, after all, replaceable…"

"But that's not all the truth, is it?"

Rei averted her eyes.

"No, it is no longer the sole reason for my reluctance. I have come to… fear… termination. It used to be something I had no worries about… but for some reason, I have been unable to imagine the world without myself experiencing it. I find this most vexing since it has brought many other things to my attention that are either completely redundant or a waste of time. Other people, for example…"

* * *

Inside the command vehicle, everyone was either helping someone up or initiating the post-battle protocols. Misato sat demurely at the door, the radio held in her hand that her chin was resting on, holding it screen downwards. In the distance, Rei's unit lay under the purple one, both inactive by now. The orange unit had been struggling to get out from underneath unit 01, a feeble attempt as it turned out to be. The techs had recorded a spike in synch, then a tremendous drop to almost 16 percent sync ration. Two minutes of distressed wriggling later, it had come to a complete stop.

"Any news?"

The bottle blonde had just walked up to her, her pda glowing in the night, illuminating her face from below and giving it an almost eerie shine from beneath.

"None.. both are down. Rescue team is on the way, but it will take some time to get the two of them untangled…"

Misato nodded and pressed the call button on her radio.

"Hey, Asuka! I need your help, real quick-like: I need you to get those two untangled… they're making a scene. Now don't you go falling for his charms too, ok?"

The radio crackled as Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.

"_What? Me? Why me! I had to save their asses once already! And then I have to drag this damn corpse of a core all the way to the next chute! Am I some kind of contractor or what? And you know just as well as I do that that idiot got what she deserved!"_

Misato frowned at the antics. Most likely, she'd have to get used to it, but it still drove her nuts every time Asuka rubbed anyone's failure in everyone's faces.

"Just get them to the next recovery point and the techs will take care of the rest. How's your power doing?"

"_Oh, just fine. It's just like, at three minutes or so. Nothing at all to worry about as I'll get those two numbskulls off of each other inside sixty seconds. And I demand some real good food tonight, Misato. And I don't mean takeaway!"_

Akagi stifled a laugh.

"My, my, aren't we the little rebel. I do wonder if it has anything to do with… you know who"

Misato glared at her friend. "Will you drop it already? I've had enough of that idiot to fill three volumes as thick as tax law. Haven't you got anything better to do than lord over my greatest mistake ever?"

The pda chimed, and Ritsuko opened a message directed to her.

She gasped as she read, then swore under her breath as she realized what this meant.

Misato knew that if Ritsuko swore, it was probably going to end real bad for someone.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Ritsuko pointed the screen at her.

"This is the sync ratio two seconds before Unit 01 shut down. And this is the neurograph at the same time…"

"400 percent… wow, he's real good! But.. what do all these squiggly lines mean?"

Ritsuko pulled the pda back to herself and tapped a reply.

"It means that his mind was dissolving. It means that there might be a serious problem with our current pilot corps. It means that we need to get unit 01 down to a secure cage _right now!_"

Misato stared at the woman, then pressed the call button again.

"Hey, Asuka… we're gonna need you to do something more…"

* * *

Misato stood to attention in front of the Commander, her defeat clearly drawn on her face as the after action review was carried out in the huge, depressingly dark office of Commander Ikari.

„It was an excellent plan, captain. If not for the pilot's misfortune, it would have succeeded very well. However…" The man's stern gaze was hidden behind the reflected light of his glasses. Adding the folded hands in front of his mouth, it hid his expression quite marvelously. "… the fact remains that the whole operation failed."

_OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT what is he gonna do to me?_

Thoughts like these were crashing around her brain as she imagined _just what_ he would do.

And she had an unnervingly GOOD imagination in that respect. Whispered rumors spoke of unpleasant things happening to people that the Commander considered 'incompetent'

"In light of the rather.. interesting backup that you had requisitioned, the destruction of the fifth angel was, fortunately, achieved. Your tactical decisions were all entirely justified"

The worried look softened just ever so slightly.

"Even so, the fact remains that units 00 and 01 suffered quite severe damage in the initial operation's execution. I cannot help but point out the… wastefulness of the use of our resources. Time, money and manpower are all things that we do not have in abundance. Your actions were not particularly profitable, Captain. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

_That…that…bast-huh! Oh shit, what do I say, what do I say! ummm…._

"Sir, compare the investment to the destruction of mankind, and you might find that survival might be worth it, sir!"

_Where the fuck did that come from!_

Ikari raised an eyebrow. She couldn't tell if it was out of surprise, anger or praise. She just stared at the patch of air two inches to the left of his right ear.

"Your opinion is… noted. Dismissed!"

She saluted, slightly confused. Tensing for a short, sharp pain in the back, she made her way out from the office of doom, and made a rushed, desperate run to the next ladies room.

Unfortunately, she took the wrong door.

As she flung the door open, she ran into the one person on earth she did NOT want to meet at _all_ today.

"Hello, Misato-chan! Well, I didn't expect it to be like _this_, but if you're okay with it…"

"OH GOD NOOOO!"

Rouji Kaji just stared after the screaming woman, slightly hurt. Shrugging, he left the loo and made his way towards the Commander's office.

* * *

/\

* * *

**A/; Thanks to Squire of Gothos for pre-reading this chapter, and all tose who reviewed up to last chapter! Sorry again for taking so long, but next chapters will take a while to mature. Expect erratic updates, and please don't kill me Lucy...**

**Nyu's got that sad look on her face. I'm gonna need a mop...**

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Nothing to say here but thanks for waiting. , and the last chapter was titled wrong.  
**

* * *

Disclaimer; I don't own Jack, Elfen Lied or Eva

* * *

**Of Lilim and Lilium**

**Chapter 13; Innocence**

* * *

Lt Ibuki called off the points they were going through after retrieving the silent Evas.

"Plug is free, draining lcl now"

The commander stood silently by as Ritsuko nervously tapped at the terminal in front of her. She could almost _feel_ the anxiousness radiating off him, even if most other personnel wouldn't see the difference.

It was not his posture. No, he was perfect at concealing his worries, his joy, even his love sometimes…

It was just… something that she felt. She couldn't explain it, which was something that aggravated her since she was a woman of science. Lack of explanation leads to chaos, after all.

She forced her mind off him, focusing on the task in front of her.

"LCL drainage complete. Opening hatch now"

The Commander stood up and nodded at his sub-commander, who caught the look in his eye. The handover of command went unnoticed by pretty much everyone beneath the two.

Ritsuko only caught it because she just happened to glance his way.

_You are far too concerned about Rei, Ikari…_

"Connection to plug re-established. Pilot life signs confirmed!"

The doctor sighed in relief. That was one moment out of the way, at least.

She completed the file she was working on and closed it, focusing instead on the retrieval of unit 01's pilot.

"How's Shinji doing?"

Aoba was staring at the graphs of the plug's output.

"… we're getting nothing… heart rate, blood pressure, sync graph… nothing! It's as if he's not there!"

She frowned.

"Are we sure it's not malfunctioning hardware?"

He nodded his head. "Yes, ma'am. Magi confirm third-stage functionality of all monitoring equipment except video feed. It's all working but…"

Ritsuko ran a hand through her hair. Makoto raised a hand. "ummm… couldn't we just… open the hatch?"

She rubbed her eyes, trying to banish the headache slowly creeping up from the back of her head.

"No, we follow protocol. Confirm pilot status and _then_ open the hatch…"

Aoba almost jumped out of his seat as he finally stared into the plug's interior through the fisheye backup camera lense.

"Video connection established! But…"

Akagi glanced over his shoulder. The small picture was not enough to show details.

"Bring it up to the main screen"

He nodded, then brought it up on the main screen.

The whole command crew gasped as it projected an empty pilot's seat. Nothing could be seen…

"Wait! There's something in the corner…" she pointed at the lower left corner. Something blue was drifting slowly into view.

"Swivel and focus!"

He entered the command console and panned the camera sideways. The small blue patch expanded, then came into focus…

"Oh my god! It's empty!" Maya's hands flew to her mouth as soon as she'd said the words, her eyes fixed on the deflated, drifting plugsuit.

* * *

Kaji Ryoji, Handler of the Second Child, Spy Extraordinaire and massive womanizer to boot stood easily against the wall in front of Commander Ikari's office of doom. As he sucked on the last vestiges of the cigarette he heard footsteps approaching from the corridor.

"Your arrival is not as I had planned, Inspector. Were you able to attain what I had requested?"

The scruffy man shook his head.

"A certain incident occurred, and I had to make a quick exit to bring your War machine here on time. The object in question is still where it has been, for quite a while now… "

He followed the Commander into the Office, quite a distance behind the tall man. Crushing the cigarette between his fingers, he flicked it into a corner, then pocketed his hands.

The Commander sat down, joining his hands under his nose. "You are aware that SEELE will probably object to the fact that I have Unit 02 in my possession ahead of schedule?"

Kaji smiled knowingly. "Hm. Yes, they are rather intolerant to deviations, aren't they? I wonder… if they would have noticed a certain specimen going amiss, what would they have done?"

It was Ikari's turn to smile.

"That is of no consequence now. You will find out, soon enough, that SEELE have more on their minds than an old, untouched lab specimen-"

The phone upon his desk rang. With no hesitation, the white-gloved hand reached out and lifted the phone to his ear.

"Yes?"

Kaji was too far away to make out any sound coming from the speaker. The commander seemed to freeze as he held the phone soundlessly against himself.

"I… will be there shortly"

The phone clicked against the booth, and Kaji could guess the news he had received was not good as the Commander stood, his hands resting on his desk for a few seconds. Then he walked past the man, sparing him a quick glance that seemed to convey the very essence of dismissal.

As the door shut, Kaji could not help but chuckle.

"Your shield is slipping, Ikari. I do wonder… what will you do if it falls?"

* * *

Misato was livid.

"He's _what!_"

Ritsuko sighed, pinching her nose.

"He isn't inside the plug anymore. It's like he disappeared. And that's not the half of it… look"

She handed her a sheet of paper. Misato grabbed it and ran a hand through her hair as she read it, only to gasp at the figures it displayed.

"400 percent? _400 percent! _How is that even possible?"

The bottle blonde grabbed the sheet and kept on going the way she was before being interrupted by her friend.

"It means we have a serious problem with unit 01. It will take a bit, but I think I can safely say this is something we've seen before… long ago-"

"But what about Shinji? Where is he right now, huh?"

Ritsuko just kept walking, trying to ignore Misato's angry tirade. She was just as worried as the raven-haired captain, but another thing was running through her mind as well.

_Rei… what happened to you?_

"Hey, Ritsuko, I'm _talking _to you! Why won-"

Ritsuko turned on her heel and ended up two inches from Misato's face.

"Look, _Captain_ Katsuragi! These are the facts right here! I just got them myself, and I have another problem aside from a disappearing pilot! "

She took a step towards Misato, waving the file at her.

"Now I can't think of any worse situation to be in, and I've hoped to be able to counteract pretty much anything this war can throw at us, but _for Christ's sake! Give me a fucking minute to think, okay!"_

Misato backed away, still angry, but slightly subdued at the doctor's reaction. Ritsuko was almost spitting at her, and she could only remember one time she had ever been that angry at her.

Said doctor held the stare for a few seconds more, then groaned in anger and turned away, crumpling the file slightly as she gripped it harder.

* * *

A few minutes later, Ritsuko met the commander at the Cage entrance holding unit 00. She glanced at him as she passed, going in before him.

The techs stood uncertainly about, not willing to step forwards and take any kind of responsibility. She couldn't blame them.

"Report"

Ikari's command shook one of them out of the silence, and he cleared his throat to get rid of the fear in it.

"Uh.. well, the pilot's refused to exit the plug, sir. She's hiding behind the seat… and saying…"he glanced back at the others "…new? And crying, too…"

The commander frowned. Saying new? What happened here…

Ritsuko walked up the plug and glanced inside. She spotted a mop of wet, blue hair behind the seat, and soon a pair of big, red eyes appeared, then snapped away again.

"Nyu! Nyyyuuuu!"

The doctor's eyebrows snapped up and she almost dropped her clipboard. Gathering herself, she set it down and clambered inside to get a better look at the girl.

"Rei, you can get out, now. Come on, just give me your hand.."

The girl watched her with tear-streaked eyes, and as Ritsuko passed the base of the seat, she began scrambling backwards, away from her. As Ritsuko stopped, she crawled behind it, her eyes appearing every now and then before she hid herself again.

"Come on, Rei… this is no time for games!"

She rushed up the plug, holding herself so she couldn't slip, and almost reached the pilot before the girl squealed and scrambled away from the doctor. Unfortunately, she slipped and fell, landing spread-eagled on the cold plug wall.

"Nyu! Nya… nyu…"

She sat up, then began bawling like a baby

"Oh… fuck"

That was all Ritsuko could say before the commander ordered two techs to collect the girl. She kicked a bit, and kept on crying, but didn't put up any more of a fight as they took her to the emergency treatment facility. Gendo Ikari approached the woman and waited until she had exited the plug.

"Your thoughts, doctor?"

She straightened her jacket and looked at the personnel around them.

"Not here" she said.

"My office then. Follow me"

He turned and led the way.

* * *

Misato smiled at the red-clad pilot. She had grown a lot in those few years, she had to admit.

"Hello, Misato! How nice to see you!"

Her sunny smile was ever so slightly infectious, and or a few moments, Misato could really smile again.

Hi, Asuka! I see you've grown quite a bit, haven't you?"

"Oh, yeah. And my figure's filled out too"

She turned, showing off her developed curves. Misato stifled a giggle. _What curves?_

"What?" the redhead glared at her. "You think they're too big?"

"No, Asuka. It's just… nice to have some good news at last. As you can imagine, we're pretty busy right now…"

She looked at her clock.

"Hey, Asuka. I need you to wait in the lounge for a few minutes. I've got something I have to do, but I promise I'll pick you up as soon as I can"

She noticed the downcast face, even if it was there for just a few picoseconds. "Hey, cheer up! You saved the day, remember?"

Asuka lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?"

The two parted waving their hands.

* * *

"I think she's lost her memories"

The bottle blonde stood cautiously in front of the commander's desk. Her words seemed to wither and die in the distance. Very quickly, in fact. The commander however was still with his hands under his nose. Then, he did something highly irregular.

He set his folded hands, the hands he used to guard his expression, silently on the table in front of him.

He did not speak for the next ten seconds. He kept his face set, void of change. But his hands where not blocking his mouth now.

"Is.. is it reversible?" The sentence seemed alien to her ears. The extra word, hanging alone at the beginning of it screaming blue murder at her neural pathways.

_Why are you so… different?_

"I do not have enough data on that subject. She is capable of understanding the mechanics of her body, as the… antics portrayed at her extraction showed us quite clearly. It may also be a simple temporary setback. However…"

Her hands started to get clammy as she ventured to the next step to salvage the situation.

".. we should prepare for a worst case scenario. I will need your approval for this, when the time comes"

Silence descended upon the two once more. Gendo Ikari's hands rose back to their usual position before he spoke.

"We must prepare for the worst, as you suggested. I expect a full report by tomorrow evening, doctor Akagi. The system will depend on the outcome of this incident, as you are well aware of. If indeed she is irrevocably damaged…."

She nodded and turned. _Time to waste, we do not have…._

* * *

Asuka was already changed, having brought her emergency case with her. The poor guy hefting the huge chest had taken one look at her and, shaking his head, removed himself from her presence.

So now she sat, bored and beautiful, on a bench in the waiting room of NERV's personnel.

Just as she contemplated if her heels had enough pounds per square inch pressure to penetrate the metal of the nearby vending machine, her handler strolled nonchalantly in.

"Hey there, red"

"Kaji! How wonderful of you to come see me! Hey, what did you think of my piloting, huh? Pretty awesome, if I may say so myself"

She had taken her position at his right arm, as per usual. Kaji smiled at her.

"Nothing less than what I expected, of course. Even so, I wonder what's become of your fellow pilots. Have you seen them yet?"

The redhead brushed a stray hair out of her face. "Nah. 'parently they're in some kind of trouble or something. Can't blame the commander. God, I mean, how can anyone like that even synch with their Eva?"

* * *

Ritsuko Akagi, the head of project E, and pretty much third in command of NERV's Japan Branch, was standing with her hands in her hair, looking at the image before herself. She traced her own profile in the mirror of the ladies' lavatories with her eyes, finally coming to rest on her eyes again. Slowly, she untangled her hands from her strands of dyed hair, the roots of it showing her original hue already.

Her hands fell down to rest on the small pile of paperwork sitting on the sink.

FIRST CHILD REI AYANAMI MEDICAL REPORT

It had been six hours since she'd ordered the tests. Full biological, neural and phsychological. And now she stood, utterly stunned, looking at the first sheet of the report's ugly message.

_Mental activity exceeds measurable values. Genetic alteration, additional cellular growth in pineal gland, altered hair color…. What the fuck happened to her?_

She lifted the sheets of paper one by one, glancing at figures and values that told her something had happened some time ago, right under her nose, something that had subtly, subtly changing the First child's biological makeup. Red hair, for god's sake!

She reached the end of the first stack, then gave the second's title a glare.

THIRD CHILD SHINJI IKARI STATUS REPORT

There were two ominous fat words underneath it.

_**STATUS; MISSING**_

"What am I going to do?" she bunched her fists and hung her head. Never before during this war had she ever faced such overwhelming odds; out of three active candidates, two were not able to pilot their Evas. If an angel attacked now, they had Unit Two, absolutely no backup whatsoever.

Beneath the subtitle were six pages of code, giving her details of the Eva's status, activity and projected amounts of internal damage. One particular strand stood out to her. It was the shortest, conveying the amount of core activity.

It was one single zero.

* * *

The sub-commander stood over Gendo's desk, his hands resting on the top as he faced his superior.

"Do you _know _ how utterly fucked we are now?"

The commander simply turned his seat to face the wide panorama windows. He didn't speak a word, didn't seem to want to say anything at all to his former teacher. And as much as Fuyutsuki respected the man he served now, he was becoming exceedingly angered at the careless way Ikari was handling this crisis.

"You know damn well that whatever happens next, we only have one pilot to defend this city! Who knows what the angels may think of next? They seemed intelligent enough to adapt on their feet, and if they know anything about tactics, they're going to strike when we're weakest!"

The words slipped away, followed by silence on both parts. Gendo Ikari stood up, crossed his hands behind his back and stood near the window overlooking the lake. Still, he did not utter a single word.

Fuyutsuki sighed. "Well, that's all I have to say about it. I don't think you're going to be stubborn for long, but I sincerely hope you realize the predicament we're in. With Rei out of the picture, I have no doubt we're not going to see another outcome in our favor. I just hope she will recover soon"

With that, he left, the door sliding shut soundlessly behind his back.

The Commander still stood there, gazing at the lake beneath.

"Yui… why him? Why now?"

* * *

"Say WHAT?"

It was two days later. Misato Katsuragi stood next to her new charge, the redheaded girl that had created the wreckage towering over the streets of Tokyo three.

"I said, Shinji's ego border dissolved and with it his body as well. His spirit still exists, but only in quantum form. The rest of his body has mingled with the LCL, creating what we call the primordial soup. The plug suit is just what's left of him, physically. His mind on the other hand…"

Ritsuko sighed and handed Misato the sheets. With a quick glance to her friend, Misato began to read.

"And Rei?"

The question probably annoyed her more than Shinji's predicament. It annoyed her because of a certain incident at the lab, after Rei's physical inspection.

The doctor had given Rei a gown, after she had been stripped naked beforehand. The girl had just stared at it with big eyes and gone "Nyu?" at her. It had taken her five attempts to catch the girl, and ten more to get the damn thing on her afterwards.

"She's still the same. I've got her in medical now, you can go visit her if you want to. Maybe it'll help…"

_Though I sincerely doubt it…_

The dark thought wedged itself into her mind, and even as Misato nodded once, she couldn't help but think of the consequences. With two pilots out of the game, the odds were stacked well against them. And the way her luck was going, an angel could be lurking around the corner any moment now…

Then, and idea struck her mind. A sly, calculating look crept over her face.

Misato caught it, and frowned.

Ritsuko, you only got that look once before, and I don't think Kaji's forgotten that night yet…"

The gaze fell on Asuka too, and the German girl almost felt the air grow colder around herself.

"...what?"

* * *

b/\d

* * *

**A/N;Many thanks to Squire of Gothos for Prereading this chapter. And Sorry about the Half-year wait. I'll shut up now. Seriously**

**Many thanks to those still sticking with this Fic. Alerts will brighten my day. Favorites will fill my heart with joy. Reviews will ignite the kind of love that Hercules and Madonna could never have. **

**Happy holidays everyone!  
**


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